In this episode of the Engaged By Design Podcast, we welcome back Kathy Hagler and Robin Graham, co-authors of The ABCs of Murmuration.

Together, we explore Flock Logic—a powerful nature-inspired framework drawn from the mesmerizing behavior of starlings—and how it applies to leadership, teamwork, and learning organizations.

You’ll discover:

• Why high-functioning groups don’t need a single leader to move together
• The three natural principles behind murmuration: alignment, separation, and cohesion
• How those principles translate into human leadership behaviors: step up, step back, and step together
• Why trust, awareness, and connection matter more than control
• Simple practices leaders and educators can use immediately to create rhythm, flow, and shared responsibility

If you’re navigating uncertainty, change, or collaboration fatigue, this conversation offers a hopeful and practical path forward—one grounded in nature, humanity, and collective wisdom.

Podcast: Engaged By Design
Episode: Part 3 — Becoming Happy Now
Guest: Dr. Sylvia Nemmers — scientist, educator, department chair, survivor, and author of Happy Now.

Episode Summary

In this powerful final chapter of her story, Dr. Sylvia Nemmers discusses what it means to truly know yourself, especially after life has shaken the identity you’ve relied on. She describes the quiet courage of rebuilding life after an abusive marriage, the freedom and grounding she found living alone by the ocean, and the transformative experience of training with a guide dog—a moment that marked her return to visibility, agency, and authenticity.

Sylvia shares what “Happy Now” really means: not perfection, not the absence of struggle, but a steady alignment between truth and peace. She reflects on fearlessness—its strengths and its risks—and how she learned the difference between courage and recklessness. Her story reminds listeners that healing isn’t a single breakthrough. It’s a lifelong practice of listening inward, choosing authenticity, and allowing yourself to be seen.

Key Topics

• Reclaiming Identity After Trauma
  – Leaving an abusive marriage
  – Discovering safety, solitude, and inner listening
  – Unlearning fear-based habits
• Training with a Guide Dog
  – Choosing visibility after years of “not acting blind”
  – The emotional work of becoming independent again
  – Learning to trust herself as much as the dog
• Fearlessness vs Recklessness
  – Being named one of Iowa’s “Fearless Women”
  – The shadow side of fearlessness: pushing too hard, too far
  – Learning discernment and emotional boundaries
• Defining “Happy Now”
  – Happiness as alignment, not accomplishment
  – Peace as a practice
  – Choosing joy without ignoring pain
• Identity, Truth, and Leadership
  – What authenticity looks like in adulthood
  – Saying “no” to roles that shrink your voice
  – Using your story to empower others

Quotes

• “Spending time with myself, I realized: that doesn’t define who I am.”
• “If I'm everybody’s favorite flavor, am I my own favorite flavor anymore?”
• “I can’t do it the way everyone else does it — but I can figure out my own way, and that’s okay.”
• “Everything is possible — if you have the desire, the time, and the commitment.”

Reflection Question

Where in your life are you being invited to choose authenticity over expectation?

Resources

• Book: Happy Now — Shattering the Myth of Happily Ever After (Amazon - https://amzn.to/49PHHYZ).
• Sylvia’s speaking & consulting: BeyondLimits.cc.
• Engaged By Design: MACRO Leadership resources.

Podcast: Engaged By Design
Episode: Part 2 — Faith, Culture & Courage Abroad
Guest: Dr. Sylvia Nemmers — scientist, educator, world traveler, multilingual mother, and author of Happy Now.

Episode Summary

In this second installment of our three-part conversation, Dr. Sylvia Nemmers takes us around the globe—Pakistan, Jordan, Greece, and beyond—to explore what happens when identity, faith, disability, and culture intersect.

She shares how falling in love with a Pakistani student reshaped her worldview, how a spiritual moment in St. Peter’s Basilica led to an unexpected conversion to Islam, and how living across cultures forced her to confront assumptions she didn’t know she held. Sylvia speaks openly about learning Arabic through immersion with children, navigating strict gender norms, raising her own children across borders, and discovering humility as a transformative leadership tool.

This episode illuminates what it means to be a cultural learner, not just a cultural observer. It shows that empathy can only flourish when we stop assuming our own lens is universal.

Key Topics

• Falling in love across cultures
  – Meeting international students
  – Recognizing shared identity as “outsiders” in academic settings
  – Navigating family expectations and early marriage
  – Beginning life in Pakistan
• Conversion to Islam
  – The pivotal moment in St. Peter’s Basilica
  – Faith as recognition rather than instruction
  – Joy, continuity, and spiritual belonging
• Life in Pakistan
  – NGO work in the Northwest Territory
  – Navigating conservative norms (“Don’t act blind; no one will respect you”)
  – Learning agency and self-advocacy in unfamiliar systems
• Jordan: Lessons in Humility
  – Raising children in multilingual, multigenerational households
  – Misunderstandings with in-laws and the power of listening
  – Learning Arabic through play and daily life
  – Major cultural adjustment: food, family, and rhythm of life
• Greece: A different kind of freedom
  – Experiences outside extended family structure
  – Observing different models of happiness and social life
  – Gaining a more global understanding of “normal”
• Universal Lesson: Unlearning Assumptions
  – Recognizing that each culture has internal logic and dignity
  – Learning to ask questions instead of drawing conclusions
  – Seeing disability differently in each country
  – Realizing humility is the beginning of wisdom

Quotes

• “When you live in another culture, you stop assuming the way you see the world is the only way.”
• “People have grabbed me on the street, and I’ve said, ‘I’ve been blind a long time. I’m very good at it.’”
• “As educators, we have expertise and resources—but the person we’re working with is the expert on themselves.”
• “Humility is what keeps curiosity alive.”

Reflection Question

What assumptions about people or cultures might you need to unlearn in order to see more clearly?

Resources

• Book: Happy Now — Shattering the Myth of Happily Ever After (Amazon - https://amzn.to/49PHHYZ).
• Sylvia’s speaking & consulting: BeyondLimits.cc.
• Engaged By Design: MACRO Leadership resources.