Can you name 20 birds without Googling? Jo thinks she can... but wait until you hear "scarecrow" make an appearance! Plus, we fall down the Love Actually rabbit hole after watching the Waitrose Christmas advert. Spoiler: Emma Thompson is EVERYONE'S sister?!

🐦 IN THIS EPISODE:

🦜 THE GREAT BIRD NAMING CHALLENGE

Jo attempts to name 20 birds off the top of her head

"I nearly said scarecrow!" - The moment that broke us

Blue tit, green tit... "you can have two tits!"

Miliband or Mallard confusion: Is it a duck?

Standard Goose? The struggle is REAL

Final score: Did she hit 20? (You'll be surprised!)

🎄 LOVE ACTUALLY: 22 YEARS LATER

Inspired by Joe Wilkinson & Keira Knightley's Waitrose ad

Why this 2003 classic still hits

Stu's rating: "3 cries and 1 sob"

The Colin Firth Portuguese romance moment 💔

That video scene with Keira Knightley that DESTROYED us

Emma Thompson revelation: Wait, she's WHOSE sister?!

Hugh Grant dancing down the stairs (still iconic)

🐦 ROBIN DRAMA: Christmas RUINED?

Are robins actually MEAN birds?

Jo's wild theory: Do they steal eggs like cuckoos?

The great robin vs. cuckoo debate

Can we still enjoy Christmas cards after this?

Territorial robin facts that shocked us both

🎬 ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Where Would We Be?

Stu's dream: Independent film director (Hollywood would crush his creativity)

Jo's confession: West End star... but NO SINGING

"Some sort of mute musical" - The career that never was

Would we have worked together? (Spoiler: Rom-coms only!)

😤 MARRIAGE SURVIVAL TIPS

How does Stu handle anger? "I tell her!" 😂

The Great Potato Gratin Freezer Incident

Pet peeves explained (Jo thought it was about ACTUAL PETS)

Secret to happy marriage: "Tell him he's an idiot"

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Intro & Questionable Foreplay

1:24 - Welcome to the Show!

1:48 - THE BIRD NAMING CHALLENGE BEGINS

6:36 - Robin Behaviour Investigation

9:10 - Love Actually Deep Dive

13:05 - Dream Careers: Hollywood vs West End

15:11 - Joy, Pet Peeves & Handling Anger

17:05 - The Potato Gratin Disaster

💬 BEST QUOTES:

"I nearly said scarecrow!"

"You can have two tits (birds!)"

"Three cries and one sob!"

"I thought pet peeve was about PETS!"

"I tell her... to wind her neck in!"

🎯 WHY WATCH THIS:

✅ Bird naming fails that'll make you cry-laugh

✅ Love Actually nostalgia

✅ Marriage tips (sort of)

✅ British comedy chaos

✅ Empty nest banter at its finest

✅ Random bird facts you never asked for

👫 ABOUT EMPTY NEST FULL BANTER:

We're Jo & Stu - married 24+ years, empty nesters, and complete opposites who somehow make it work. She thinks scarecrows are birds. He can actually name birds correctly. Together, we bring you weekly doses of relationship chaos, questionable knowledge, and genuine laughs.

📱 JOIN THE CONVERSATION:

💭 Can YOU name 20 birds? Comment your list!

🎬 What's your favourite Love Actually moment?

🐦 Are robins actually mean? Settle this debate!

❓ Questions for future episodes? Drop them below!

#EmptyNestFullBanter #Podcast #BirdQuiz #LoveActually #ChristmasMovies #KeiraKnightley #MarriedLife #BritishComedy #CouplePodcast #FunnyPodcast #ChristmasContent #MovieReview #RomCom #RelationshipGoals #Marriage #EmptyNesters #ComedyPodcast #UKPodcast #ChristmasAd #Waitrose #EmmaThompson #ColinFirth #HughGrant #RomanticComedy #Robins #ChristmasBirds #QuizShow #CoupleGoals #PodcastCommunity

⚠️ WARNING: Contains excessive laughter, bird confusion, emotional damage from Love Actually, and frozen potato gratins.

👍 LIKE if you've ever confused a scarecrow for a bird

💬 COMMENT your Love Actually cry count

🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly empty nest chaos

📤 SHARE with anyone who needs a laugh today!

New episodes every week! Thanks for being part of our Empty Nest Full Banter family! 💕

Jo reveals her latest career ambition: BIRD WRANGLING. Yes, you read that right. Despite being terrified of chickens and having a traumatic pigeon incident in Birmingham, she's ready to wrestle eagles... or is she?

🎯 IN THIS EPISODE:

🐔 The Bird Wrangling Interview

- Jo applies for the world's strangest job

- Can she name more than 12 birds? (Spoiler: We're not convinced)

- The infamous tit-wrangling reference disaster

- Why ostriches and fancy hats don't mix

💼 Jo's Job History: A Masterclass in Quitting

- Applied, accepted, and quit a job in 3 DAYS (possibly a world record?)

- Tales from the revolving door of employment

- Sometimes the job hates YOU back

- Shout out to Sandra (the only good thing about work)

💕 Relationship Chaos: ADHD vs. The Donkey Brain

- Living with someone who discusses 3 topics in ONE sentence

- Stu's brain: a peaceful donkey cart 🫏

- Jo's brain: a motorway at rush hour 🏎️

- The whale/salmon conversation phenomenon explained

🎄 BONUS: Waitrose Christmas Advert Review

- Why we're obsessed with the new Keira Knightley ad

- Stu gets a "free pass" (and so does Jo!)

- Mark Bonner: The unexpected crush revelation

- TikTok algorithm exposes Jo's... interesting viewing habits 👀

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Intro & Mannequin Talk

2:32 - What Are We Talking About Today?

4:12 - Waitrose Advert & Keira Knightley

7:19 - Free Pass Confusion

9:47 - Bird Wrangling Origins

12:27 - The Bird Wrangling Interview Begins

15:18 - Life Together: ADHD Meets Donkey Brain

17:23 - Final Thoughts & Subscribe!

## 💬 BEST QUOTES:

"Sometimes the job hates me!"

"I nearly drowned, call the emergency services"

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" "Ask me where I'll be in 2 months!"

"You lost control of the tits on several occasions"

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## 👫 ABOUT US:

We're Stu & Jo - a married couple who've been together 24 years (somehow). He's a computer programmer who can help with your AI fears. She's... well, she's looking for her next career, possibly in avian wrestling. We're very different people who somehow make it work, and we're bringing you our chaotic conversations weekly!

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📱 CONNECT WITH US:

Questions? Relationship advice? Bird wrangling tips? Leave a comment!

Special shout out to Sandra - you're a legend! 💙

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**#Podcast #Comedy #BirdWrangling #Relationships #ADHD #MarriedLife #CareerChange #JobHunting #CouplePodcast #BritishComedy #WeirdJobs #KeiraKnightley #ChristmasAdverts #TikTokAlgorithm #PodcastEpisode #RelationshipHumor #JobInterview #AnimalJobs #QuirkyCouples**

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⚠️ WARNING: Contains discussions of bird poo, questionable career choices, and an unhealthy obsession with a supermarket Christmas advert.

👍 LIKE if you've ever quit a job before starting it

💬 COMMENT your weirdest job experience

🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly chaos

Thanks for watching! Now go wrestle a pigeon! 🐦💪

Married 18 years, together 24, and finally recording the ridiculous conversations we've been having all along. Welcome to our first episode!

In This Episode:

How we met online 24 years ago (back when the internet was innocent)

Are headphones legal while driving? We investigate

Why do men have beards and women don't? Colder chins? Our AI expert weighs in

Jo's struggles wearing headphones and hats (yes, really)

The invention of quadruple earmuffs for the underserved four-eared community

Why Stu currently has a goatee (spoiler: shaving accident)

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro & Who We Are

6:09 - Where We Live (We're Quite Lost)

7:01 - Stu's 3-Degree Morning Walk in Just a T-Shirt

10:58 - The Quadra Ear Muff Innovation

11:22 - Driving with Headphones: Legal or Not?

16:28 - Why Men Have Beards (Peacocking Theory)

21:35 - Stu's Goatee Origin Story

This is what happens when an empty nest couple decides to share their kitchen table banter with the world. No script. No filter. Just 24 years of practice.

🔔 Subscribe for more unfiltered chaos

👍 Like if this made you laugh (or confused you in an entertaining way)

💬 Comment - Should Stu grow a Salvador Dalí moustache?

New here? Start with this episode to meet us, then join the chaos weekly!

#EmptyNestFullBanter #PodcastFirstEpisode #BritishHumor #MarriedLife #podcast #emptynest