Episodios

  • Can The World Survive Donald Trump? Thoughts on the state of things from Politica UK

    Can The World Survive Donald Trump? Thoughts on the state of things from Politica UK
    Mar 16 2026
    If you are thrilled to be older, wiser, and thankfull, welcome to my podcast.
    I am a writer and musician reclaiming my life as an older person.

    Elderescence with Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

    Elderescence is a visual and written project exploring creativity, ageing well, and self-confidence built from within.This space brings together reflective drawing, digital mark-making, fashion studies, and quiet visual essays — alongside themes of fitness, beauty, and style as acts of self-trust rather than correction.The work is slow, intentional, and human. Less about perfection. More about presence.Elderescence is concerned with:
    • Creative longevity
    • Ageing without erasure
    • Fashion as identity, not trend
    • Fitness as energy, not punishment
    • Beauty as expression, not compliance
    • Reinvention after change
    This work is part of a wider ecosystem that includes podcasts, essays, publishing, and long-form projects — but here, the focus is visual thinking: ideas, bodies, posture, fabric, gesture, and tone.

    This is not aspirational lifestyle imagery. It is lived confidence.

    BOOKS
    (I may earn commission on book sales as an Amazon Associate)
    Más Menos
    8 m
  • 🎪 MENO ND Autism, Touch, and the Freedom of Menopause Introduction The Puzzle of Intimacy by Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

    🎪 MENO ND Autism, Touch, and the Freedom of Menopause Introduction The Puzzle of Intimacy by Sarnia de la Maré FRSA
    Mar 12 2026
    MENO NDAutism, Touch, and the Freedom of MenopauseIntroductionThe Puzzle of IntimacyFor most of my life I assumed there was something quietly wrong with me.I loved people. I felt loyalty, tenderness, and fierce protectiveness toward those close to me. I could sit for hours talking with someone I trusted, listening carefully, observing small details about their moods, remembering what mattered to them. Emotional closeness came naturally.Yet physical closeness often did not.Touch—particularly the casual, affectionate touch that many people seem to experience as comforting—frequently felt overwhelming. A hug could feel intrusive rather than soothing. Prolonged contact could become exhausting. Even small gestures that others interpreted as warmth could feel, internally, like sensory noise.This created a paradox that took many years to understand: it is possible to care deeply for others while simultaneously struggling with the physical language through which love is commonly expressed.For autistic women, this paradox can be especially confusing. Cultural expectations around femininity assume that women are naturally tactile and emotionally demonstrative. We are expected to hug easily, cuddle instinctively, and communicate affection through physical closeness. A woman who does not behave this way can be labelled distant, cold, or emotionally unavailable.Many autistic women therefore learn to perform affection. We watch how others behave and copy it. We tolerate contact that feels uncomfortable because we do not want to appear rude or unkind. We learn scripts of normality.This process is known as masking. In relationships, masking can become particularly intense.During the early stages of romantic connection—when excitement and novelty are high—it can be easier to maintain the performance. The cultural script of romance provides a structure: dates, flirtation, gestures of intimacy that follow predictable patterns. But as relationships settle into everyday life, expectations around touch, sexuality, and closeness often increase. What once felt manageable can become exhausting.The result is a pattern many autistic women quietly recognise: relationships that feel emotionally meaningful but physically overwhelming.For years this tension may remain unexplained. It can be interpreted as personal failure, emotional distance, or incompatibility with partners who expect physical intimacy to play a central role in connection.Then menopause arrives.Menopause is usually described as a period of loss: the loss of youth, fertility, and sexual vitality. But for some women—particularly those who have long felt conflicted about the physical expectations placed on their bodies—it can bring something else entirely.Relief.As hormonal changes alter libido and partners age alongside us, the cultural pressure surrounding sexuality often softens. The urgency that once surrounded physical intimacy begins to fade. The scripts that once governed relationships lose some of their force.For the first time, it can become possible to ask a simple question:What if intimacy does not have to follow the rules I was taught?What if tenderness does not require constant touch?What if autonomy—over one’s body, one’s boundaries, and one’s relationships—can coexist with deep affection?This book explores those questions. It looks at the sensory realities of touch in autism, the social expectations placed on women, the role of masking and overwhelm in intimate relationships, and the unexpected ways menopause can allow a quiet renegotiation of intimacy.For some women, menopause represents decline.For others, it marks the beginning of something far more unexpected:the freedom to define closeness on their own terms.If you are thrilled to be older, wiser, and thankfull, welcome to my podcast. I am a writer and musician reclaiming my life as an older person.Elderescence with Sarnia de la Maré FRSAElderescence is a visual and written project exploring creativity, ageing well, and self-confidence built from within.This space brings together reflective drawing, digital mark-making, fashion studies, and quiet visual essays — alongside themes of fitness, beauty, and style as acts of self-trust rather than correction.The work is slow, intentional, and human. Less about perfection. More about presence.Elderescence is concerned with:Creative longevityAgeing without erasureFashion as identity, not trendFitness as energy, not punishmentBeauty as expression, not complianceReinvention after changeThis work is part of a wider ecosystem that includes podcasts, essays, publishing, and long-form projects — but here, the focus is visual thinking: ideas, bodies, posture, fabric, gesture, and tone.This is not aspirational lifestyle imagery. It is lived confidence.BOOKS(I may earn commission on book sales as an Amazon Associate)
    Más Menos
    4 m
  • 👵 Vanity and Ageing: Why Some People Fight Time and Others Make Peace With It #elderescence

    👵 Vanity and Ageing: Why Some People Fight Time and Others Make Peace With It #elderescence
    Mar 10 2026
    Vanity and Ageing: Why Some People Fight Time and Others Make Peace With ItWelcome to Elderescence Academy — reflections on growing older with curiosity, creativity, and calm.Ageing is one of the few experiences that every human being shares, yet the ways people respond to it vary enormously.Some individuals meet the passing of time with determination. They exercise discipline over their appearance, invest in skincare, hair treatments, aesthetic procedures, and sometimes surgery. They aim to preserve a version of themselves that feels familiar — a face, a body, an image that reflects the vitality they still feel within.Others take a very different path. They allow the changes of time to appear openly. Hair turns grey, skin softens, lines deepen, and the body shifts its shape and rhythm. They may care for themselves well, but they do not attempt to resist the visible signs of age.These two responses are often presented as opposites — as if one represents vanity and the other represents acceptance.In reality, the motivations behind them are far more complex.Human beings have always been attentive to appearance. Long before modern cosmetics and surgery existed, people used dyes, clothing, jewellery, hairstyles, and rituals of grooming to shape how they were seen. Appearance has always carried social meaning.It signals health, status, identity, creativity, belonging.In many ways, caring about how one looks is simply part of being human.What changes with age is not the instinct itself, but the context surrounding it.Modern societies place a great deal of symbolic value on youth. Youth is associated with possibility, beauty, fertility, productivity, novelty. Entire industries have grown around preserving the outward signs of youth for as long as possible.Against this background, it is understandable that some people choose to intervene in the ageing process. Cosmetic procedures, dermatology, dentistry, and aesthetic medicine offer tools that previous generations never had access to.For some individuals, these tools provide confidence. They help a person feel that their outward appearance still reflects their inner energy. Others enjoy the artistry involved in shaping their image. In these cases, aesthetic intervention can feel like an extension of personal expression.At the same time, there are people who feel little desire to resist visible ageing. They may see wrinkles or grey hair not as problems to solve but as markers of experience. Each change tells a story of time lived.This perspective often grows alongside a broader shift in priorities. As people accumulate years of experience, attention sometimes moves away from appearance and toward other aspects of life: relationships, creativity, knowledge, or simply peace of mind.The mirror becomes less central.Neither approach is necessarily more authentic than the other.In fact, the boundary between them is often fluid. A person might dye their hair but feel comfortable with wrinkles. Another might avoid cosmetic procedures but enjoy beautiful clothing or jewellery. Many people move between these attitudes at different stages of life.What makes the subject particularly interesting is the role that identity plays.For some individuals, appearance has been closely tied to their sense of self for many years. Actors, performers, public figures, and people whose work relies on visual presentation may feel that maintaining a particular image is part of their professional identity. Changing that image can feel like changing a role that they have inhabited for decades.Others never experienced appearance as a central part of their identity. Their sense of self may be rooted more strongly in intellectual, creative, or relational qualities. For them, visible ageing feels less consequential.There is also the psychological dimension of familiarity.Human beings tend to prefer continuity. We become accustomed to our reflection over time, and sudden changes can feel disorienting. For some people, aesthetic interventions help maintain a sense of continuity with the person they recognise in the mirror.For others, adaptation comes more easily. They simply adjust their mental image of themselves as time progresses.Cultural background also plays a role. Different societies interpret ageing in different ways. In some cultures, visible age is associated with wisdom, authority, and dignity. In others, youth is strongly prioritised as a symbol of vitality and relevance.These cultural signals inevitably influence individual choices.Yet perhaps the most interesting shift occurs internally.As people move further into adulthood, many discover that the emotional weight they once attached to appearance begins to change. The attention that was once directed toward external evaluation gradually moves inward.Instead of asking, “How do I look to others?” the question becomes, “How do I feel within my own life?”For some, aesthetic care remains an enjoyable form of self-expression. ...
    Más Menos
    6 m
  • 👵 Why a Simple Life Often Leads to Greater Happiness: Elderecsence Academy Podcast #older #wiser #aging

    👵 Why a Simple Life Often Leads to Greater Happiness: Elderecsence Academy Podcast #older #wiser #aging
    Mar 9 2026
    Why a Simple Life Often Leads to Greater HappinessWelcome to Elderescence Academy — reflections on growing older with curiosity, creativity, and calm.One of the quiet discoveries that many people make as life progresses is that happiness does not necessarily grow alongside complexity.In fact, the opposite often appears to be true.A simpler life — fewer obligations, fewer possessions, fewer social performances — frequently feels richer, calmer, and more satisfying than the busy lives many people once believed they wanted.This realisation can feel almost surprising, especially in cultures that spend enormous amounts of energy promoting the idea that happiness must be constructed through accumulation.More success.More experiences.More productivity.More stimulation.The modern imagination often associates a full life with a crowded one.Yet if you speak to people later in life, many describe a different trajectory. Over time, they gradually remove things from their lives rather than adding them.Schedules become lighter.Homes become less cluttered.Social circles become smaller but deeper.And as these layers of complexity fall away, something interesting happens.Life begins to feel more spacious.This is not the emptiness that younger people sometimes fear when they imagine simplicity. It is a kind of psychological breathing room — a sense that the mind is no longer constantly reacting to demands, interruptions, and comparisons.Instead, attention becomes available again.You notice the taste of a morning coffee.You hear the subtle rhythms of conversation.You walk more slowly and observe things that once passed unnoticed.In many ways, simplicity restores the basic pleasures that busyness quietly erodes.Part of the reason this happens lies in how human attention works.The mind has a limited capacity for processing information. When life becomes filled with constant obligations, digital noise, social expectations, and endless choice, attention becomes fragmented. The result is often a persistent feeling of restlessness — the sense that something important is always being missed.Simplicity reduces this pressure.When there are fewer competing demands on attention, the mind settles. Activities that once felt mundane begin to feel absorbing again.Reading a book for an hour without interruption.Cooking a meal slowly rather than rushing through it.Walking without simultaneously checking messages.These small acts can restore a surprising amount of contentment.Another aspect of simplicity concerns ownership.Modern culture often encourages people to believe that possessions will increase freedom and satisfaction. Yet in practice, every object requires a small amount of care, maintenance, storage, or attention.The more things we accumulate, the more invisible obligations accumulate alongside them.Later in life, many people begin to see this more clearly. They notice that possessions once acquired with excitement have quietly become responsibilities.Simplifying the material environment can therefore produce a feeling of lightness. Rooms become calmer. Decisions become easier. Time once spent managing objects becomes available for experiences.But simplicity is not only material.It is also social.In youth, social life can sometimes resemble a complex network of obligations. Invitations are accepted because declining might appear rude. Relationships are maintained partly out of habit rather than genuine affinity. Time is spent navigating group dynamics and expectations.As people grow older, they often become more selective.This is not necessarily a rejection of social life. It is a refinement of it.Friendships become fewer but deeper. Conversations become more meaningful because the people involved genuinely wish to be there. There is less interest in performance and more interest in connection.In this way, a simpler social life often becomes a richer one.Another quiet benefit of simplicity is that it restores the possibility of boredom — and boredom, despite its reputation, is not always a negative state.When the mind is not constantly stimulated, it begins to wander. Ideas form more freely. Creativity often emerges from these quiet spaces where attention is not tightly controlled.Many writers, musicians, and artists speak about the importance of unstructured time. Without it, imagination has little room to operate.A simpler life therefore does not necessarily reduce creativity. In many cases it encourages it.There is also a philosophical dimension to simplicity that becomes more visible with age.As people accumulate years of experience, they often notice how quickly circumstances change. Careers rise and fall. Technologies transform entire industries. Cultural trends that once seemed permanent fade within decades.Against this backdrop of change, the pursuit of constant expansion can begin to feel exhausting.Simplicity offers an alternative orientation.Rather than constantly chasing the next improvement, it asks a...
    Más Menos
    7 m
  • 👵 The Joy of Freedom as We Age: Elderecsence Academy by Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

    👵 The Joy of Freedom as We Age: Elderecsence Academy by Sarnia de la Maré FRSA
    Mar 9 2026
    The Joy of Freedom as We AgeWelcome to Elderescence Academy — reflections on growing older with curiosity, creativity, and calm.One of the quietest but most profound psychological changes that often accompanies age is the gradual disappearance of a particular pressure: the need to impress other people.It is so deeply embedded in early life that we rarely recognise how much of our behaviour is organised around it.From childhood onwards, approval becomes a guiding force. At school we learn very quickly which behaviours bring praise, which attract ridicule, and which allow us to belong. Later this instinct expands into a complex system of social signals — career success, appearance, education, lifestyle, taste, social circles. All of these operate partly as ways of signalling competence or desirability to others.Much of early adulthood therefore becomes a form of continuous presentation.We curate versions of ourselves. We measure our progress against peers. We worry about how our choices appear from the outside. We imagine invisible audiences evaluating our success.This process is not necessarily unhealthy. In fact, it performs an important developmental function. The desire to impress encourages ambition, discipline, and experimentation. It pushes people to acquire skills, to test their abilities, and to engage with the world.But the cost is that it often places a great deal of energy into maintaining a particular image.Many people reach midlife and realise that large parts of their earlier effort were directed not toward genuine satisfaction, but toward maintaining credibility in the eyes of others.The surprising discovery that follows is that much of this effort was optional.The social audience that once felt so powerful gradually loses its authority.Age changes the equation in several ways.First, time itself alters perspective. When you have lived long enough to watch entire cultural fashions appear and disappear — professional trends, social movements, aesthetic tastes — it becomes harder to believe that any single moment of approval is particularly meaningful.What once felt urgent begins to look temporary.Second, experience brings a more accurate understanding of how little attention most people actually pay to us. The young often assume that everyone else is observing their choices closely. Later in life it becomes clear that most people are preoccupied with their own concerns.The imagined audience was largely imaginary.Third, there is a gradual strengthening of internal authority. When people have accumulated enough lived experience — successes, failures, changes of direction — they develop a more reliable internal compass. They begin to trust their own judgement rather than constantly seeking external validation.This shift produces an interesting psychological effect.When the need to impress weakens, behaviour becomes simpler.Clothing becomes more comfortable rather than strategically impressive. Conversations become more direct. Work choices begin to reflect genuine interest rather than perceived prestige.In many cases the change is subtle. A person may not consciously decide to stop impressing others; they simply stop feeling the urgency.A kind of social quietness appears.What replaces this pressure is often curiosity.Without the constant background task of image management, attention becomes available for other pursuits. People rediscover activities they once postponed because they seemed impractical, unfashionable, or insufficiently impressive.Painting.Writing.Learning an instrument.Gardening.Studying obscure subjects that have no obvious career value.These activities might have seemed indulgent earlier in life. Later they begin to feel like the real substance of living.Interestingly, this freedom can sometimes make individuals more compelling rather than less.When someone no longer appears to be performing for approval, their behaviour often becomes more relaxed and authentic. They speak with fewer rehearsed phrases. They display interests without carefully filtering them through social expectations.The result is a personality that feels less manufactured.Observers often describe such people as confident, though the confidence is not the competitive kind associated with youth. It is quieter.It is simply the absence of anxiety about being evaluated.This state has been recognised across many cultures.Philosophers from the Stoic tradition wrote about the importance of indifference to public opinion. Buddhist teachings similarly warn about the suffering created by attachment to reputation. In later life many people rediscover these ideas through experience rather than philosophy.They realise that reputation is a moving target, and that pursuing it relentlessly often leads to exhaustion.Freedom appears when the pursuit stops dominating behaviour.It is important to note that this does not mean abandoning standards or ambition. Many people continue to work hard and produce remarkable ...
    Más Menos
    3 m
  • The Strange Freedom of Not Needing to Impress Anyone Welcome to Elderescence Academy #podcast #age

    The Strange Freedom of Not Needing to Impress Anyone Welcome to Elderescence Academy #podcast #age
    Mar 9 2026
    The Strange Freedom of Not Needing to Impress AnyoneWelcome to Elderescence Academy — reflections on growing older with curiosity, creativity, and calm.One of the strangest freedoms that arrives with age is something nobody really prepares you for.The moment you realise you no longer feel the need to impress anyone.When we are young, much of life is a performance. We dress for approval. We speak carefully in rooms where we hope to be admired. We chase credentials, recognition, validation — sometimes without even noticing that we are doing it.Approval becomes a kind of invisible currency.A compliment from the right person can make our day.
    A criticism can linger for weeks.But slowly, quietly, something begins to shift.It does not happen all at once. It arrives in small recognitions.Perhaps you find yourself declining an invitation you once would have accepted just to be seen there.
    Perhaps you speak your mind in a meeting without rehearsing it for hours beforehand.
    Perhaps you choose comfort over fashion and realise — quite wonderfully — that nothing terrible happens.The world keeps turning.There is a peculiar calm in this moment.You realise that the energy once spent trying to appear impressive can be used for something far more satisfying: being sincere.Conversations become simpler.
    Friendships become clearer.
    Work becomes more honest.You discover that the people who remain around you are not there because you are performing well, but because they genuinely enjoy your company.And that is a very different kind of relationship.In youth we often try to build admiration.
    Later in life, many people discover something better: ease.The strange freedom of not needing to impress anyone is not about giving up. It is about arriving.Arriving at a point where your sense of self no longer depends on applause.And when that happens, something unexpected occurs.You often become more interesting.Without the weight of constant performance, curiosity returns. Playfulness returns. The mind begins to explore again instead of constantly presenting itself.Many artists describe this moment late in life. They stop trying to prove themselves, and suddenly their work becomes freer, more experimental, more personal.The same thing can happen in ordinary life.You may take up painting simply because you enjoy the colours.
    You may begin writing, gardening, walking, learning an instrument — not to impress anyone, but because it brings a quiet satisfaction.This is one of the hidden gifts of ageing.The freedom to become genuinely yourself.And the strange thing is, once the need to impress fades, people often appreciate you more.Not for the image you project.But for the person you actually are.Thank you for listening to Elderescence Academy.Until next time, stay curious.

    If you are thrilled to be older, wiser, and thankfull, welcome to my podcast.
    I am a writer and musician reclaiming my life as an older person.

    Elderescence with Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

    Elderescence is a visual and written project exploring creativity, ageing well, and self-confidence built from within.This space brings together reflective drawing, digital mark-making, fashion studies, and quiet visual essays — alongside themes of fitness, beauty, and style as acts of self-trust rather than correction.The work is slow, intentional, and human. Less about perfection. More about presence.Elderescence is concerned with:
    • Creative longevity
    • Ageing without erasure
    • Fashion as identity, not trend
    • Fitness as energy, not punishment
    • Beauty as expression, not compliance
    • Reinvention after change
    This work is part of a wider ecosystem that includes podcasts, essays, publishing, and long-form projects — but here, the focus is visual thinking: ideas, bodies, posture, fabric, gesture, and tone.

    This is not aspirational lifestyle imagery. It is lived confidence.

    BOOKS
    (I may earn commission on book sales as an Amazon Associate)
    Más Menos
    3 m
  • Day 4 Double Blepharoplasty Recovery Elderescence Academy™

    Day 4 Double Blepharoplasty Recovery Elderescence Academy™
    Feb 27 2026
    I am doing better today after the shock 😲 of my treatment which is a bit 😞 disabling for a workaholic.

    If you are thrilled to be older, wiser, and thankfull, welcome to my podcast.
    I am a writer and musician reclaiming my life as an older person.

    Elderescence with Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

    Elderescence is a visual and written project exploring creativity, ageing well, and self-confidence built from within.This space brings together reflective drawing, digital mark-making, fashion studies, and quiet visual essays — alongside themes of fitness, beauty, and style as acts of self-trust rather than correction.The work is slow, intentional, and human. Less about perfection. More about presence.Elderescence is concerned with:
    • Creative longevity
    • Ageing without erasure
    • Fashion as identity, not trend
    • Fitness as energy, not punishment
    • Beauty as expression, not compliance
    • Reinvention after change
    This work is part of a wider ecosystem that includes podcasts, essays, publishing, and long-form projects — but here, the focus is visual thinking: ideas, bodies, posture, fabric, gesture, and tone.

    This is not aspirational lifestyle imagery. It is lived confidence.

    BOOKS
    (I may earn commission on book sales as an Amazon Associate)
    Más Menos
    12 m
  • Double Blepharoplasty Top and Bottom Eye Lift Procedure and Recovery - Elderescence Academy™

    Double Blepharoplasty Top and Bottom Eye Lift Procedure and Recovery - Elderescence Academy™
    Feb 25 2026
    No pain no gain...follow my recovery on my podcast #health #spirehospital

    If you are thrilled to be older, wiser, and thankfull, welcome to my podcast.
    I am a writer and musician reclaiming my life as an older person.

    Elderescence with Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

    Elderescence is a visual and written project exploring creativity, ageing well, and self-confidence built from within.This space brings together reflective drawing, digital mark-making, fashion studies, and quiet visual essays — alongside themes of fitness, beauty, and style as acts of self-trust rather than correction.The work is slow, intentional, and human. Less about perfection. More about presence.Elderescence is concerned with:
    • Creative longevity
    • Ageing without erasure
    • Fashion as identity, not trend
    • Fitness as energy, not punishment
    • Beauty as expression, not compliance
    • Reinvention after change
    This work is part of a wider ecosystem that includes podcasts, essays, publishing, and long-form projects — but here, the focus is visual thinking: ideas, bodies, posture, fabric, gesture, and tone.

    This is not aspirational lifestyle imagery. It is lived confidence.

    BOOKS
    (I may earn commission on book sales as an Amazon Associate)
    Más Menos
    13 m