EP. 367: You Can Be Right And Still Feel Miserable; The Emotional Cost of Needing to Be Understood

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Wanting to be understood is completely normal. Especially for ADHD women. But there’s a moment where that need quietly shifts, and suddenly we’re not trying to connect anymore. We’re trying to survive.

In this episode, let’s talk about why feeling misunderstood doesn’t just feel uncomfortable. It can feel unsafe. When that happens, the nervous system takes over. The brain speeds up. We explain more. We repeat ourselves. Not because we’re trying to win an argument, but because our body is trying to prevent rejection. We explore how rejection sensitive dysphoria, a reactive amygdala, and years of being misread wire ADHD brains to overexplain as a form of self protection.

Let’s unpack why overexplaining is not a communication problem, it’s a nervous system response. We explore rejection sensitive dysphoria, the empathy gap, and why saying more often creates more distance, not more understanding. We also talk about the shift that changes everything: moving from chasing understanding to choosing safety, and how to protect your energy without shrinking, defending, or disappearing.

Resources:

• Website: tracyotsuka.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/tracyotsuka
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tracyotsuka4796
• FREE 3-days to Fall in Love With Your ADHD Brain training on Jan 6th: https://tracyotsuka.com/ilovemybrain
• Tired of ADHD strategies that don’t work? Here’s what actually does. FREE training here: https://programs.tracyotsuka.com

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