EP 243: Stop Measuring Recovery Like an A-Student (What Success Really Means) + How to Overcome Perfectionism

What does success really mean in recovery? In this powerful solo episode, Lindsey gets real about perfectionism, the fear of success vs. fear of failure, and why trying to be an "A-student" at recovery keeps you stuck. If you've ever felt like you're not trying hard enough, not far enough along, or wondered what life would look like if you actually succeeded at recovery - this episode is for you. Discover why traditional definitions of success are keeping you trapped and learn a new perspective that will transform how you approach your recovery journey. Key Topics Covered: ⚡ The perfectionist's dilemma: Why wanting recovery to be flawless keeps you stuck ⚡ Two types of fear: Fear of failure vs. fear of success in recovery ⚡ Redefining success: From what you accomplish to who you become ⚡ The pressure of "A-student recovery": Why this mindset leads to relapse ⚡ Surrender and empowerment: Research on how letting go creates better outcomes ⚡ Daily choices over gold medals: Success when no one is watching The Two Fears That Keep You Stuck: Fear of Failure "What if I don't recover?""What if this is just who I am?"Staying in denial feels safer because you can't fail if you stay stuckBelieving you'll never be successful at recovery, so why try? Fear of Success "What if I do recover? Then what?""What would it mean for my life if I quit playing small?""What would it mean if I fully surrendered knowing it didn't need to be perfect?"Fear of the unknown person you'll become without your eating disorder Redefining Success: Traditional (False) Definition: Professional achievements and career advancementMaterial worth and financial statusLuxurious lifestyle and social media imageSocial status, influence, and popularityBody image and physical appearance True Definition of Success: Success = Who you become in the process, not what you accomplish Success equals: Growth of characterDeveloping skills and wisdomGrowing in faithConstant growth leading to happiness and contentmentBecoming your best self Powerful Questions for Self-Reflection: 🤔 Where do I spend my time and energy? Inner focused (to be better) or outer focused (to look better)? 🤔 Am I putting one foot in front of the other? Growing character and fostering positive changes?Isn't that success? 🤔 What would success look like if I lived in accordance with: My core valuesResilienceGraceBalanceFaith 🤔 Am I being honest to myself and others? Or am I consumed by what other people think? 🤔 Am I contributing to the world or being consumed by it? Key Insights from This Episode: 💡 "Success doesn't equal full recovery - success equals your best self" 💡 "You don't get a PhD for healing - there's no 'better' way to heal than anyone else" 💡 "The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake - you can't learn anything from being perfect" 💡 "You weren't called to be perfect - you're just called to be better" 💡 "The more you surrender and let be, the higher you rise" 💡 "If you thought you're not gonna fail because you're just gonna keep going until you arrive, it takes the pressure off" Research Highlights: 📊 Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology: Individuals who surrendered to God or a higher power in recovery had increased feelings of personal empowerment and happiness 📊 Addiction Sciences and Clinical Practice: Surrender was associated with the highest positive recovery outcomes The Reality Check: ✨ You don't get applause for daily recovery choices ✨ There's no gold medal for healing ✨ Success is in the daily choices when no one is watching ✨ You're allowed to be perfectly flawed ✨ Constant growth leads to happiness and contentment ✨ The eating disorder doesn't know what to do when you surrender control From One Client's Story: A client came to Lindsey after a "bad day" expecting judgment. Instead, Lindsey asked: "Do you want me to sit in that pity party with you, or do you want me to ask: Where do we go from here? What's next?" The client's response: "You're right. I need to put this down. Tomorrow's a new day. I need to surrender this." This is true for you too. Moving Forward: Stop driving for perfection - it simply doesn't exist Embrace mistakes - they're where momentum comes from Measure small wins - daily progress over perfection Surrender control - to gain ultimate control, courage, acceptance, and trust Focus inward - character growth over external validation Ready for Community Support? Join The Recovery Collective! If you're tired of trying to be perfect at recovery, if you're caught between fear of failure and fear of success, if you want support from women who understand the pressure of high-performing perfectionism - The Recovery Collective is for you. What You'll Find: Bi-weekly 60-minute group coaching calls via ZoomSafe space of women who understand perfectionist strugglesPermission to be imperfect in your recovery journeySupport for navigating the "messy middle" of recoveryCommunity that ...