EP 126: Real Confidence- What Confidence Looks Like When You Stop Regretting Your Past

If you’ve been in my orbit for a while, you know I’m picky about gratitude. Most of what’s out there feels fluffy, performative or totally disconnected from how confidence actually works in the real world. So when I say this conversation stopped me in my tracks, I mean it.

My guest is author, speaker, and creator of the GRASP method for confident leadership, Tara LaFon Gooch—and she didn’t come to this work from some polished, camera-ready place. She came to it terrified of visibility, of speaking of being seen at all. What drew me to her isn’t just that she teaches gratitude, but how she talks about it: not as a bypass or denial, but as a deliberate, responsibility-heavy practice that reshapes how we see ourselves.

And yes, we challenge each other a bit in this conversation—which only makes it better.

We get into the kind of gratitude nobody posts on Instagram. Gratitude for past versions of yourself you’re not proud of. Gratitude for moments that bruised your ego, cracked your confidence or left you questioning your worth. Not because those moments were “good,” but because pretending they didn’t shape you keeps you stuck and confidence doesn’t come from erasing your past—it comes from owning it without shame.

There’s also some real neuro-nerd satisfaction here. We talk about how the brain actually changes when gratitude is practiced the right way—not as affirmations you don’t believe, but as repetition that creates new neural paths. Tara shares a metaphor that stayed with me long after we recorded and genuinely shifted how I think about mental habits, resilience, and self-trust.

And maybe my favorite part of this episode: the move from gratitude to responsibility. Because at its heart, confidence is deciding who you are going to be next and acting like that person on purpose. Not overnight. Not perfectly. But consciously.

This Is Why You’ll Want to Listen

• A radically different take on gratitude that actually strengthens confidence instead of numbing reality
• Why being grateful for your past mistakes can be more powerful than forgiving yourself for them
• How confidence grows when you stop fighting your story and start integrating it
• A neuroscience-backed way to think about mindset shifts that doesn’t rely on fake positivity
• The subtle but critical link between responsibility, self-leadership, and real confidence

Tara LaFon Gooch is an award-winning Leadership Speaker, TEDx Speaker, and 2X Best-Selling Author specializing in the transformative power of confidence. Learn more about Tara and the GRASP method at taralafongooch.com.