E401 | Most Listened To E299 | How to Quit Being a People Pleaser

People pleasing - we’ve all seen it before (whether we recognized it or not) - constantly being agreeable, always saying yes, never setting any boundaries - all to the point of self-destruction. If you haven’t experienced it yourself, it’s likely you’ve witnessed someone else demonstrate these behaviors. And although it may have short-term benefits, we know that these self-destructive tendencies are not sustainable, and can lead to mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion and burnout. If this is something you think you might struggle with, or if you know someone who does, today’s episode provides a wide variety of perspectives on what “people pleasing” can look like in the day to day world, a number of root causes, and a handful of different solutions you can use to help you manage these behaviors. More specifically, I dive into: Quotes that hit - some of the most impactful sound bites I’ve heard on the topicWhat drives you? How our drives can lead us into unhealthy people pleasing behaviorsThe downside to many of the mainstream self-help resources that address the topicThe necessary self-reflection that has to take place before we can make long-lasting behavioral changes Referenced Resources: E210: Assertiveness: How To Ask For What You Want & Get What You Need E207: How Perception Impacts Communication & Relationships E208: Robert Greene: Mastering Human Nature and Facing Your Flaws E200: What To Do When Trying To Help Makes Stuff Worse E176: When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work E22: The Value of Self-Doubt E130: How Understanding Drives Helps Build Buy-In Quiz: What Drives You? Online Course: Valued - mentioned in today’s episode regarding opportunity cost, this life-time access course help you to identify your values and take control of your career Other AoC Resources: 1:1 Virtual or Group Mentoring/ Staff Development Group Mentoring (The Coalition) Online Courses Live Events Request Us As a Speaker If you found this helpful, check out: •The Apprenticeship – our live workshop on communication and influence. •Speaker School – for anyone who wants to present and persuade more effectively. •Join our community at ArtofCoaching.com/community for bonus materials and episode breakdowns. 🎤 Art of Coaching Live Events Let’s be honest—most workshops leave you with a notebook full of tips and no real plan for change. Ours are built different. At Art of Coaching, you won’t just sit and take notes. You’ll engage in real scenarios—role-plays, peer feedback, video breakdowns, and live evaluations—designed to help you sharpen your communication, think on your feet, and handle tough conversations with more clarity and control. Whether you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive coworker, trying to be more assertive without burning bridges, stuck in tension at home, or just tired of second-guessing yourself socially or professionally—we can help. This is potent personal and professional development that actually sticks. No fluff. No filler. We offer multiple pricing tiers and discounts—reach out at [e-mail] and we’ll help make it work for you. Upcoming Workshops: 📍 Charlestown, MA – Nov 15‑16 (The Apprenticeship™) 🔗 artofcoaching.com/events Real Coaching for Real Life Let’s be honest—everyone says they want growth, but putting in the work? That’s where most people just stick to what’s comfortable.. That’s why we created a mentoring service built for the real world. Whether you’re stuck on a professional decision, starting a business, writing a book, dealing with pressure at home, or just trying to get out of your own way—we can help. This isn’t therapy. And it’s not a rah-rah, feel-good session either. It’s direct, tailored coaching from people who’ve been in the trenches—leaders, operators, educators, business owners. Our team of 15 comes from a wide range of backgrounds, so you’re matched with someone who understands your world and knows how to push you forward. Everyone needs a coach. We’re here when you’re ready. 🔗 artofcoaching.com/mentoring Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb