E138: The Gap Between Reality and Preference

Inner suffering is not caused by what happens, but by our preferences about what should or shouldn’t have happened—the gap between reality and what we want it to be. Our entire preference system is built from the sum of our learned experiences, which compared to all else going on, is statistically insignificant. But we worship what we have experienced as “truth,” to be defended and fought for. When we stop fighting, we come to understand that everyone is driven by their own conditioned experiences and inner pain—so we stop judging and start asking, “How can I help?” We act from a place of clarity and compassion, not to get our way, but to raise the energy of whatever passes in front of us.

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