E13: Suffering In Silence ft. Ross Knight (part 1)

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

The part of baby loss we don’t hear enough is what happens to dads when everyone assumes we’re “fine.” This week I speak with my friend, Ross Knight, for a raw conversation about infertility, IVF, miscarriage, and the quiet ways grief shows up in men who are trying to hold everything together.

Ross shares the road from early marriage hopes to the shock of a male factor infertility diagnosis and the stigma that can come with it. We talk about the pressure of fertility treatment, the real cost of IVF, and the painful imbalance many couples face when the wife’s body carries the medical burden even when the fertility issue isn’t hers. Ross also reflects on being a pastor during all of this, managing public responsibilities while suffering in silence at home.

Then hope arrives fast: a positive pregnancy test, early ultrasounds, telling family, and finally letting themselves picture a future. Under COVID restrictions, appointments become harder and lonelier, and one day a string of texts signals that something is wrong. What follows is the moment no parent is prepared for: walking into a room and learning there is no heartbeat. We unpack the aftermath, the DNC decision, the clash of grieving styles in marriage, and the line that changes Ross’s internal world weeks later: “How are you doing with all this?”

If you’ve faced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, infertility, or IVF, this story offers language for what you may not have named yet and a reminder to check on both parents.

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Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

"Those Were The Days" & "Young Love" by Nu Alkemi$t