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FIRST: Jim does some wacky visual jokes on an audio-only podcast. The guys congratulate Dave on yet another “D-Day” or “Dave Day” mulling over various famous Dave’s and the need to start a concert in support of Dave’s: Dave-aid. Then they try and write new mottos and adages.

THEN: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt reveal the news that Ringling Brothers Circus, after removing their animal acts due to cruelty complaints, made their clowns go makeup-less! What kind of world would it be without clowns?! Plus there’s Pagliacci and an old Rice Krispies commercial.

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FIRST: Jim tells Tim, Dave, and Walt that the famous Chicago Rat Hole (an indentation of a rodent pushed into sidewalk cement) had been filled in!! Tim opens our eyes to the oppression squirrels go through. Walt tells the guys about his neighbor’s pet wild squirrel. And, apparently, Jim had a pet squirrel, too!

THEN: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt totally improvise their memories of that time they may or may not have had a giant duck head float in Chicago’s 4th of July parade (which isn’t a thing). And Dave walked the parade route on stilts. Or maybe he didn’t. The memories are fuzzy. It could’ve happened. Maybe. Maybe not. They may not have remembered it correctly.

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FIRST:

Dave, Jim, Tim, and Walt explain how the group got its name: “Duck Logic” and Dave talks about the evolution of the duck of their logo. Then Jim abruptly changes the subject to the manly bag he bought online that turned out to be a woman’s purse! And somehow the conversation turns to goiters versus boils.

THEN:

The guys wonder when a buddy becomes a pal and what you have to do to go from a pal to a cohort, chum, ally, or henchman. Then there are sidekicks. And how way too many superheroes were orphans.

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FIRST:

Did you know that bears plug up their butts to prepare for hibernation? Walt explains it all to Dave, Tim, and Jim. They go on to “explore” all sorts of bear, butt, and plug possibilities!

THEN:

The guys discuss getting a mentalist on the pod. They ask: if you can get debunked, can you get re-bunked? Then the guys get funky. Parliament Funkadelic. The Funky Winkerbean comic strip. The funky bunch.

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FIRST:

Jim gets spammed with politically incorrect jokes. Naked old men at the gym. Prison myths. And we find out Jim used to call his penis Captain B.B.

THEN:

In honor of St. Paddy's Day, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss the old classic Irish movie "The Quiet Man." And Tim professes his love for Ireland, not that he's ever been there, because of how it probably smells (like stale beer).

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FIRST:

Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss evil lairs, and ones for the good guys. Goldfinger. Dr. No. The Kingsmen had cool, undergrown headquarters. But who designs them? What would the Indeed listing look like to get a job in one? And what kind of amenities should they have—a Keurig, drink fridges, a Sbarro and, of course, popcorn!

THEN:

The guys continue their evil talk, exploring the many different nuances of becoming and staying evil. They decide to become evil entrepreneurs by launching an evil gofundme page.

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FIRST:

Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt totally improvise their memories of that time they may or may not have played gigs in Ft. Lauderdale during spring break. It’s hazy. It might have happened. Or not. They may’ve remembered it wrong.

THEN:

The guys wonder why they keep making Godzilla movies, then decide it’s because 'Zilla is a consummate thespian and ponder how many other films he would’ve been perfect for. King Lear. When Godzilla Met Sally. The list goes on and on.

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TALK: It’s Ash Wednesday and Jim tells us about a priest giving out ashes at the train station. Tim has a real issue with the make-a-heart hand gesture. Obscene gestures around the world. Tim’s Narnia adventures. Keeping your clothes in a hole. Class clowns and their comedy writers.

SKETCHES: A redacted love story. Fun facts about Wyoming. A mean men’s store. The Drunken Bible. A bad driving school. And more!