Dr. Barry Jacobs on Grief, Purpose, and Caregiving

I sat down with Dr. Barry Jacobs—a clinical psychologist, family therapist, and fellow caregiver whose story began when his father was diagnosed with brain cancer. Out of that crucible, he has spent nearly four decades helping families navigate the emotional and practical challenges of caregiving.

We talked about the unspoken grief many caregivers carry, why sadness is not a weakness but a source of strength, and how family conflict often masks deeper sorrow. Dr. Jacobs shared powerful metaphors—the “half loaf” of life after disability, the cards we’re dealt and how we play them—and offered wisdom drawn from both his clinical practice and his own scars.

Together, we explored what it means to “respect the trauma,” why caregivers must give themselves permission for joy, and how purpose can grow even out of devastating loss. Along the way, I shared Gracie’s clarity after her 98th surgery—her determination to live, sing, see her grandchildren, and return to Africa to serve other amputees.

Dr. Jacobs also introduced his newest work, The Caregiver Answer Book (AARP/Guilford Press), which offers nearly 150 concise responses to the questions caregivers most often ask. It’s a practical, compassionate resource that belongs in every caregiver’s hands.

As Dr. Jacobs reminded us: “There are no perfect caregivers—only good enough caregivers.” That’s encouragement every one of us needs.

👉 Listen now, share with a friend who’s struggling, and check out The Caregiver Answer Book wherever books are sold.