Divorcing a Narcissist: How to Break the Emotional Grip and Get Financial Clarity with Dr. Onalee

Narcissistic partners don’t just manipulate emotions — they manipulate money, security, and your sense of stability. In divorce, that mix is dangerous: fear clouds judgment, and confusion gets expensive. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew (Legal Liaison) and Catherine Shanahan (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) sit down with Dr. Onalee, an expert in narcissistic relationship dynamics, to break down what actually helps you recover — emotionally and financially — when you’re dealing with gaslighting, coercion, and high-conflict behavior. You’ll learn Dr. Onalee’s DONE framework (a 4-step recovery process), why “trying to win” arguments backfires with narcissistic personalities, and how verified financial clarity becomes the backbone that helps you stop reacting and start leading. How narcissistic dynamics show up as financial control, dependency, and fear Why people stay: the real role of financial paralysis (even when there’s money) The love-bombing → withdrawal cycle and why it keeps people hooked The counterintuitive strategy that protects your peace: neutrality, not engagement Why you don’t need to prove, protect, or defend your story to “flying monkeys” A practical mindset shift for long marriages: you’re not “too late” — you’re waking up A crucial divorce truth: you may not need to defend yourself socially, but you do need to prove assets with documents What to do if you’re afraid to ask for financial records or worried your spouse will find out you’re preparing Why “lawyering up” too early can pour gasoline on the fire — and what to do first instead Dr. Onalee teaches a simple framework to move from stuck to stable: D — Decide you’re done O — Look at the origin (the wound/pattern being triggered) N — No more (boundaries + detachment from proving yourself) E — Enjoy your life (rebuild identity, peace, and future) If you’re dealing with a high-conflict, narcissistic-leaning spouse, clarity is your leverage. When you know the numbers and have documents to support them, you stop negotiating from fear — and start making decisions that protect your future. Dr. Onalee specializes in helping people recover from narcissistic relationship patterns, rebuild self-worth, and create healthier relationships after high-control dynamics. She’s also the host of Coming Home with Dr. Onalee. Find Dr. Onalee: Instagram: @Dr.Onalee In this episode, we cover:Dr. Onalee’s DONE Method (the 4 steps)Key takeawayAbout Dr. OnaleeYouTube/Podcast: Coming Home with Dr. Onalee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices