Carolyn speaks with clinical nutritionist Susie Allen about what divorce and chronic stress actually do to your body – and what you can do about it. Susie draws on her own experience of two divorces and her clinical work to explain how the nervous system responds to prolonged pressure, why so many women find themselves wired but exhausted, and how simple nutritional choices can help break that cycle.

We talk about adrenaline and fight-or-flight, the gut-brain axis, protein at breakfast, resistant starch (and how potatoes can actually be your friend OMG), sleep disruption, alcohol, and quick meals for when you're running on empty.

Key takeaways

• Running on adrenaline depletes magnesium, B vitamins, and the building blocks for key neurotransmitters
• Protein at breakfast – within 30 to 60 minutes of waking, before coffee – sends a safety signal to your nervous system
• Cooking potatoes, rice, and pasta the day before and refrigerating overnight converts them to resistant starch – better for your gut and absorbed differently
• Late-night sugar and alcohol spike cortisol, disrupting sleep and contributing to the 3am wake-up (booooo!)
• Morning sunlight triggers the melatonin cycle and supports better evening sleep

Guest

Susie Allen — Nutritionist, Your Vitality Nutrition

• Website: www.yourvitalitynutrition.com.au
• Instagram & Facebook: @yourvitalitynutrition
• Ebook: Suddenly Single: https://yourvitalitynutrition.thrivecart.com/suddenly-single-ebook/

Resources mentioned

• Susie's ebook: Suddenly Single – https://yourvitalitynutrition.thrivecart.com/suddenly-single-ebook/ (or FREE inside the Women's Divorce Academy membership – www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-program)
• Wholesomeness (Queensland, Northern NSW, Sydney, Melbourne) – wholesomeness.com.au
• Youfoodz – https://www.youfoodz.com/

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If you've ever felt completely wired at 2am, unable to make decisions, or like you're operating purely on adrenaline – this episode is for you.

I'm joined by my brilliant friend Danielle Colley – integrative life coach and author, and someone who has walked this divorce road herself – to talk about what's actually happening to your nervous system during separation, why sleep feels impossible, how to parent through the fog, and what consistently moves women from survival mode to steadier ground.

Key Takeaways

• Your nervous system responds to divorce as though it's life-threatening danger because uncertainty activates the threat response
• Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are all normal responses to separation stress
• Sleep disruption happens because your brain has nothing to do at night but worry – cortisol and adrenaline don't know it's bedtime
• The 'brain soup' technique – simply writing down everything in your head – can significantly reduce overnight spiralling
• You don't have to pretend to be fine in front of your children; age-appropriate honesty often brings you closer together
• Signs that you may need additional support: disengagement, inability to get out of bed, prolonged numbness or heightened emotion
• Three daily practices that move the needle: consistent sleep, a gratitude practice, and regular moments of pause
• Breathwork, somatic therapy, and EMDR can all help when talk therapy isn't enough
• The question 'What do I want?' eventually becomes available – and it's worth having a list ready when it does

Resources Mentioned

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 — lifeline.org.au
• 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 — 1800respect.org.au
• Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277 — relationships.org.au
• Martin Seligman's gratitude research — positivepsychology.com

About Danielle Colley

Danielle Colley is an integrative life coach and author who works with women navigating major life transitions. She brings both professional training and personal lived experience to her work. You can find her at https://daniellecolley.com.au/

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

What if your divorce came without any shame at all? Not less shame – no shame? For most women, that question feels almost impossible to answer. In this episode, Carolyn explores the deep cultural, historical and personal roots of divorce shame, what the research says about how women's lives improve after separation, and four grounded ways to start loosening shame's grip. Plus a simple journalling exercise you can try tonight. Warm, honest, and evidence-backed.

Key takeaways

• Shame doesn't start at divorce – it activates something already present from cultural and personal conditioning.
• Women internalise relationship breakdowns far more than men, and research confirms this has measurable effects on mental health and self-esteem.
• A 20-year Kingston University study found women report significant increases in contentment and life satisfaction for up to five years after divorce.
• 100% of Women's Divorce Academy members surveyed (separated 12+ months) said they were happier after divorce.
• Shame can't survive being spoken aloud to one safe person — connection is the antidote.
• Patterns in your relationship history are not proof that something is intrinsically wrong with you. They reflect what you learned and believed you deserved — and that can change.
• A simple journalling exercise can help you examine and dismantle shame gently over time.

Resources mentioned

• Books
  • The Wife Drought — Annabel Crabb
  • Daring Greatly — Brené Brown
  • Self Help — Gabby Bernstein
• Research
  • BMC Psychology — Self-Stigma and Mental Health in Divorced Single-Parent Women
  • Kingston University 20-year study — ScienceDaily report
• Meditation
  • Insight Timer — free app
  • Sarah Blondin on Insight Timer
  • Tara Brach on Insight Timer
• Mental health support (Australia)
  • Mental health treatment plan — Healthdirect

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!