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Ever feel like your toddler is just ignoring you on purpose?
You’ve asked nicely (three times), tried raising your voice, or even taken a toy away — and still, they won’t listen. Before you start second-guessing yourself or wondering if it’s just your child, take a deep breath. You are not alone — and there’s a powerful reason behind this common toddler behaviour.

In this episode, Ruth sits down with parenting and behaviour specialist Heather Schalk to uncover why toddlers really don’t listen — and it’s not what you might think.

Connect with Heather
https://heatherschalkparentingblog.com/
@HeatherSchalkParenting

This conversation dives into what’s going on beneath the surface of toddler behaviour. We explore how so-called “defiance” is often a sign of underdeveloped emotional, communication, or social skills — not a problem with your parenting.

Together, Ruth and Heather unpack:

• Why toddlers ignore instructions (spoiler: it's not always intentional!)
• The Toddler Reactivity Loop — what it is, how to spot it, and how to break the cycle
• The role of play schemas in behaviour — and how to work with them, not against them
• How to tell if your toddler is actually regulated and ready to listen
• Why “connect before correct” leads to calmer, more confident parenting

Practical Tips You Can Use Right Away

This isn’t just theory — it’s full of real-world strategies for real-life parents. You’ll learn how to:

• Tune in to your child’s cues before giving instructions
• Use transition items and visual cues to support smoother routines
• Respond to big emotions with empathy — while still holding boundaries
• Teach self-advocacy phrases like “My turn next” or “I’m not done yet”
• Praise natural moments of waiting or cooperation to build emotional resilience
• Reframe common challenges (like spilling milk or toy-throwing) into learning moments

You’ll hear relatable examples from Heather’s own life with twins and Ruth’s practical insights into how play schemas shape your child’s behaviour — even when it seems challenging.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think!

Parenting toddlers is exhausting. It’s full of curveballs, chaos, and so many questions. But with just a little shift in perspective, you can turn everyday frustrations into meaningful opportunities for growth — for both you and your child.

This episode will leave you feeling supported, seen, and more confident in your role as your child’s first teacher. Whether you’re folding laundry, walking the pram, or hiding in the pantry for five minutes’ peace, this one’s for you.

Want More Support? For more on play schemas, child development, and daily ideas to support your little one’s learning journey, head to our Freebies page:
www.playschemas.com/free

You’ll find free downloads, activity ideas, and inspiration to make play more purposeful — and parenting a little less stressful.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

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If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

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Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

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What if your toddler’s obsession with mud, watering cans, or hauling carrots isn’t just play—but a window into how they learn best?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we take you into the garden—yes, dirt and all—to uncover how vegetable gardening can reveal powerful insights about your child’s development. Whether your little one is digging, transporting soil, or burying seeds, these actions aren’t random. They’re part of play schemas—the natural, repetitive behaviours that show us how young children are making sense of the world.

As a parent, it can feel tricky to know what’s “just play” and what’s meaningful learning.

This episode helps you connect the dots. We break down what’s happening beneath the surface when your child is knee-deep in garden soil, and how to support their growth without needing fancy toys, Pinterest-perfect setups, or rigid routines.

In this episode you'll discover:

• What Play Schemas are—and why they matter so much in the early years
• How simple garden activities like watering, digging, and harvesting relate to specific schemas like trajectory, transporting, enveloping, and positioning
• Why repetition is not a sign of boredom, but a signal your child is deep in learning
• How to identify and nurture your child’s unique play preferences
• Easy ways to support schema play in everyday garden moments (even with limited space!)
  
  
  

You’ll also get practical tips like:

• How to set up a toddler-friendly garden area (without needing a full backyard)
• What to say (or not say) to encourage schema-rich exploration
• How to gently support your child’s independence without hovering
• Ideas for turning daily gardening into purposeful, brain-building fun

Whether you're a parent with a veggie patch, a few potted herbs, or no garden at all—this episode will shift how you see your child's play. It's about meeting them where they are and celebrating the little moments that are soaked in learning (and sometimes water too!).

You’re not just raising a child—you’re raising a curious learner.
Let this episode inspire you to view everyday messes, garden tasks, and muddy hands as essential parts of their developmental journey. You don’t need to do more—just see more. And that starts with understanding the magic of play schemas.

Listen now and dig into the hidden learning happening in your garden.
Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode full of insight, encouragement, and schema-savvy parenting support.

🌱 Want even more Play Schema ideas and inspiration?
Head over to our Freebies page for practical tools, cheat sheets, and fresh ideas to support your child’s play journey:
playschemas.com/free

💬 Loved this episode? Share it with a fellow parent, leave a review, or tag us @play_schemas on Instagram—we’d love to hear how your child’s garden play is growing!

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

Send us a text

Free download available!
Grab your free Easter Play Ideas PDF with all 10 schema-based activities, family-friendly versions, and our go-to oaty pancake recipe at playschemas.com/free

Feeling overwhelmed by all the Easter hype—and wondering how to make it meaningful for your toddler?

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving into how you can use this Easter season to truly support your child’s development—without extra stress or sugar overload.

We’ll show you how to harness the power of play schemas—the natural, repetitive play behaviours all children engage in—to create fun, intentional Easter activities that meet your child right where they are developmentally. Whether they’re throwing, stacking, wrapping, or endlessly transporting things from one place to another, this episode will help you understand why they play this way—and how to build on it.

This isn’t about picture-perfect Pinterest crafts. It’s about easy, real-life ideas that work with your child’s current play urges, not against them. And the best part? You likely already have what you need at home.

In this episode, we’ll cover:

• What play schemas actually are, and why they matter for child development
  
  
• Why Easter is the perfect time to support schema play (think baskets, eggs, nature walks)
  
  
• 10 simple, engaging Easter activity ideas—each linked to a specific schema
  
  
• How to include your toddler in Easter traditions that build emotional connection
  
  
• Bonus toddler-friendly recipes that support sensory exploration and independence
  
  
  

We’ve made sure every idea includes:

• An independent play version to support solo exploration
  
  
• A family version to foster bonding and shared joy
  
  
• No fancy materials or hours of prep—just meaningful, low-fuss fun
  
  
  

Whether you're a first-time parent or juggling multiple little ones, this episode is for you if:

• You want to understand your child’s behaviour instead of just managing it
  
  
• You’re looking for early learning tips that don’t require a teaching degree
  
  
• You’d love to make Easter special without going overboard
  
  
• You’re craving ways to connect more deeply with your child through play
  
  
  

You’re not just making Easter crafts—you’re building confidence, independence, and lifelong learning habits.

Free download available!
Grab your free Easter Play Ideas PDF with all 10 schema-based activities, family-friendly versions, and our go-to oaty pancake recipe at playschemas.com/free

Visit the full blog post here → playschemas.com/021
Follow along on Instagram → @play_schemas

If this episode made your parenting life a little easier today…
Please leave a review, subscribe, or share it with a friend who needs a bit more calm and conne

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

Send us a text

Looking for the discount code? use playschemas10 at the checkout! ww.thesafekidsproject.com

As parents, we want to protect our children. But when it comes to body safety, it can feel overwhelming—where do we start?

How do we talk about it in a way that’s age-appropriate and empowering? And how do we navigate such an important conversation without fear or discomfort?

You’re not alone in these concerns. In today’s world, we hear so much about unsafe physical touch, making it even harder to know how to teach our children what safe and trusted touch looks like. But ignoring the topic isn’t the answer—our kids need us to guide them in understanding their own boundaries, their rights, and how to respect others.

This is where the ‘Foundations of Body Safety’ course comes and why I have teamed up with Victoria Barendsen, a registered psychologist specialising in childhood trauma and sexual abuse, to offer you a 10% discount (playschemas10 at ww.thesafekidsproject.com). In this 6-week course will:


✅ Give you the confidence to introduce body safety concepts in a natural, everyday way
✅ Teach you how to discuss sensitive topics—like consent and private parts—without feeling awkward or unsure
✅ Help you build open communication so your child feels safe coming to you with questions or concerns
✅ Empower your child with the knowledge and tools they need to maintain healthy boundaries


I have taken this course myself, and to say it has been eye-opening is an understatement. Within just a few lessons, I told my husband that this is something every parent should have in their toolkit—just like an infant and child first aid course.

Join the waitlist today to secure your spot!

As a special bonus, I’ve partnered with Victoria to offer you 10% off, so make sure you use the code playschemas10 at the checkout. ww.thesafekidsproject.com

Let’s empower our children—because every child deserves to feel safe, respected, and confident in their own body. ❤️

Please note that the discount code is also an affiliate link - There is not extra cost to you...But you do get a discount and I get a little thank you! Win-Win!

Even without the affiliate link I still would be promoting this course as I really do believe in being empowered to have these discussions with our children.


Victoria teaches in a way that equips and makes these 'tricky conversations' a part of our every day, making them accessible... and supporting us to ensure they actually happen!

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

Send us a text

Wrapping Up the Love Languages Series: How Play Can Deepen Your Connection with Your Child

Do you ever wonder what’s really behind your child’s play? Or why they behave a certain way when they’re feeling disconnected? Understanding play schemas and love languages can completely transform the way you interact with your little one—making parenting more intentional, fun, and fulfilling!

In this final episode of our Love Languages & Play series, we bring everything together to help you recognise, respond to, and nurture your child’s emotional needs through play.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

✅ How Play Schemas & Love Languages Work Together – Discover how your child’s natural play tendencies (like spinning, building, or transporting objects) can align with their love language and emotional needs.

✅ Spotting Your Child’s Love Language in Daily Life – Learn the simple ways children express what they need, from asking for quality time to seeking physical touch.

✅ Why Love Languages Change Over Time – Understand how your child’s love language may shift as they grow, and how to stay attuned to their evolving needs.

✅ The Connection Between Love Tanks & Behaviour – Is your child acting out, or are they just running low on love? Learn how unmet emotional needs can show up in tantrums, clinginess, or defiance.

✅ Discipline Through the Lens of Love Languages – Why using the wrong consequence could do more harm than good, and how to guide your child in a way that keeps their love tank full.

✅ Building a Stronger Family Culture – Encourage siblings, partners, and extended family to understand and support each other’s love languages, creating a more connected home.

💡 Try This Today!

Next time your child is upset, ask yourself: Have I filled their love tank today? Take just five minutes to connect in their love language—whether it’s a cuddle, a game, or simply telling them how much you love them. You might be surprised by the difference it makes!

💬 We’d love to hear from you! What love language does your child respond to most? Share your experiences with us!

📌 Resources & More:
🔗 Read more on our blog: playschemas.com
📲 Follow us on Instagram for daily insights: @play_schemas
📩 Join our newsletter for exclusive parenting tips: playschemas.com

If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review—your support helps more parents discover how to make play a powerful parenting tool! 🎧💖

#PlaySchemas #LoveLanguages #ParentingTips #EarlyChildhood #GentleParenting #ChildDevelopment

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

Send us a text

Unlock the Secrets of Your Child’s Play: Play Schemas & Acts of Service in Parenting!

Have you ever wondered why your child insists on lining up their toys, spinning in circles, or moving objects from place to place? It might seem random (or even frustrating!), but these repetitive behaviours are actually part of their natural learning process. They’re called play schemas, and understanding them can transform the way you see your child’s play—helping you to nurture their development and reduce daily parenting struggles.

But there’s more! When we connect play schemas with the love language of acts of service, we unlock an even deeper way to support our children. In this episode, we’ll explore how simple, everyday acts of service can show love, model responsibility, and empower our little ones to serve themselves—and eventually, others.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ What play schemas are and how they shape your child’s learning and behaviour.
✅ The love language acts of service—why it’s more than just doing things for your child.
✅ How recognising play schemas can strengthen your bond and make daily life smoother.
✅ Practical ways to support your child’s play while fostering independence and confidence.
✅ How small, intentional acts of service help children understand love, responsibility, and community.

As parents, we’re constantly serving our children—meals, clean clothes, cuddles, bedtime routines—but when done with intention, these daily tasks become powerful expressions of love. In this episode, we talk about how acts of service should go beyond “doing everything for them” and instead guide children toward learning, responsibility, and meaningful connection.

💡 Ready to see your child’s play in a whole new light? Grab a cuppa, pop in your earphones, and let’s dive in!

🎧 Subscribe & Listen: Never miss an episode—hit Follow on your favourite podcast app!

📲 Join the Conversation: Follow us on Instagram @Play_Schemas for daily insights & tips!

📩 Get More Parenting Resources: Join our newsletter at playschemas.com

#PlaySchemas #ParentingPodcast #ActsOfService #EarlyLearning

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

Send us a text

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

Send us a text

Ever feel like your child is constantly throwing, spinning, or building the same thing over and over—and you’re not quite sure why? Or maybe you’re wondering how to give your child the quality time they crave without adding more to your already packed schedule? You’re not alone! In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re unlocking the magic behind play schemas and how they connect with the love language of Quality Time—helping you build stronger bonds with your child through their natural way of playing.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ What are play schemas? Discover why your child repeats certain play behaviours and what it tells you about their development.
✔️ Why Quality Time matters—especially for children who seek undivided attention from parents.
✔️ 10 easy ways to turn play into meaningful connection, tailored to your child’s unique play interests.
✔️ How to make time for Quality Time (even when life is busy!).

Many childhood behaviours—like throwing objects, hiding under blankets, or endlessly lining up toys—aren’t random at all! They’re part of play schemas, the natural way children explore and make sense of the world. When you understand these patterns, you can join in their play in a way that feels natural, fun, and deeply connecting.

And if your child’s primary love language is Quality Time, they don’t just want you to watch them play—they want you to play with them! But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you need to set aside hours of elaborate playtime. Even small, everyday moments can make a big impact!

Practical Ideas You Can Try Today!

🌟 Trajectory Play (throwing, dropping, running): Instead of saying "Stop throwing!", turn it into a game—play catch, race toy cars, or explore water play together.
🌟 Rotation Play (spinning, turning things): Join your child in stirring, mixing, or riding bikes—simple, everyday moments that fill their love tank.
🌟 Enclosure Play (building forts, climbing into spaces): Snuggle inside a homemade fort for cosy, screen-free Quality Time.
🌟 Positioning Play (lining things up, arranging objects): Set the table together or sort coloured toys—simple, mindful moments that strengthen your connection.

✨ Even just 10 minutes of focused, undistracted play can make your child feel seen, valued, and deeply loved!

Too Busy? Here’s How to Fit It In!

We get it—parents are BUSY! But Quality Time doesn’t mean grand outings or hours of play. Here are simple ways to make connection part of your daily routine:
✔️ Pre-bedtime snuggles – A perfect, distraction-free way to end the day.
✔️ Car time chats – Use car rides for fun conversations instead of screens.
✔️ Cooking together – Let them help mix, pour, or taste-test while you chat.
✔️ Set a timer – Just 10–15 minutes of full attention can make all the difference!

🎁 Giveaway Alert! Sign up to our email list before March 31, 2025, for a chance to win a copy of The 5 Love Languages of Children! → Join Here: playschemas.com

🔗 Don’t miss out! Follow us on Instagram @play_schemas for more practical play tips!

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com