Delight Your Marriage Podcast Por Belah Rose | Christ-centered Author Coach & Marriage Intimacy Expert arte de portada

Delight Your Marriage

Delight Your Marriage

De: Belah Rose | Christ-centered Author Coach & Marriage Intimacy Expert
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Husbands and wives were designed to be different. You want different things in marriage and intimacy on every level (emotional, spiritual, and physical). Whether you're a wife or a husband, whether you're suffering or pretty good... and you're looking for Bible-based insights and scriptural practical guidance on how to transform your marriage, you've found the right podcast! We have "transformation stories" that will inspire hope that putting into practice these principles, by God's grace, can truly change your intimacy completely. If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage sign up for a free Clarity Call, we can hear your story and work with you to determine if we are confident we can help you: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc(c) Delight Your Marriage Cristianismo Espiritualidad Higiene y Vida Saludable Ministerio y Evangelismo
Episodios
  • 504-When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson

    504-When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson
    Oct 10 2025
    When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson Do you remember when you first fell in love—how easy it was to cheer him on? You’d light up at his stories. You’d say, “You’re amazing!” and mean it. You noticed everything good. But somewhere along the way, the cheers turned into corrections. The same man who once felt like your hero now feels like your project. And instead of applause, he mostly hears... boo. That’s what Ann Wilson discovered the day her husband, Dave, vulnerably told a room full of women that marriage sometimes felt that way to him—like he’d walked off the football field to a stadium full of boos. Ann was stunned. She thought she was helping him. But in that moment, she realized how her words had chipped away at his confidence and joy. I was so honored to talk with Dave and Ann Wilson—pastors, marriage speakers, authors of Vertical Marriage, and co-hosts of FamilyLife Today. For more than 30 years, they’ve led thousands of couples toward hope, healing, and connection. But their story didn’t start with success. The Power of Words in Scripture Scripture is clear: “The tongue has the power of life and death.” — Proverbs 18:21 Your words can resurrect a weary heart—or crush it. They can draw your husband home or make him quietly retreat. And as Dave and Ann share, the transformation didn’t start with more compliments or clever communication—it started with repentance. A Night of Repentance and New Beginning in Marriage Ten years into marriage, they were on the verge of losing everything. Dave was busy building ministry– starting a new church at home and a chaplain for the Detroit Lions, often times away traveling with the team. Meanwhile, Ann was at home with two little boys, beginning to feel lonely, angry, and done. One night, sitting in a parked car late at night on their 10 year anniversary, she finally said, “I’ve lost all my feelings for you.” Dave was stunned. He thought they were great. Ann had never shared otherwise. How could she say he was disregarding her? How could she say she felt alone and he was always away? As he reached for his planner to defend himself, the the gentle and firm voice of the Holy Spirit whispered: “Repent.” He dropped his arguments and dropped to his knees—right there in the front seat of their Honda Accord. He realized he had put himself first instead of Jesus. In that sacred moment, Ann felt conviction too. God showed her that she’d made her husband and marriage an idol and she had been wanting Dave to fill every need, when that was never the role God was supposed to have. She got on her knees as well, surrendering her expectations back to the Lord. That night became the beginning of something new—a vertical marriage, grounded in repentance and intimacy with Jesus first. When You Stop Cheering on Your Spouse Years later, when Ann shared her “booing” moment at church, she used a visual: a plant. She explained that when you're dating, you pick a healthy, vibrant plant—your husband. But after a few years, you start noticing brown leaves. you take out the clippers, thinking it’s your job to prune him. Before long, you've hacked away so much that there’s barely a stump left. After this sermon, Ann saw a couple that in the auditorium that stayed long after everyone had left. She approached them and saw an older man, head in his hands, tears dropping heavy on the ground, his wife sitting next to him bewildered. When asked what was wrong, he simply pointed at the stump and said, "That's me." It’s not that we don’t love our husbands. We do. But we’ve forgotten that change is God’s job—not ours. Our job is to water with words that bring life. How to Speak Life (When You Want to Yell) Ann admits she used to “speak her mind” freely—then justify it as honesty. But over time, God taught her a new rhythm of restraint and prayer, asking “Lord, should I say this? If yes, when should I say it? And how should I say it?” Not in an anxious way, but surrendered and thoughtful, knowing how much her words matter. Just that short prayer created space for the Holy Spirit to guide her words. One night, when Dave mentioned getting criticism on his sermons, her first instinct was to correct him (“Maybe if you studied more…”). But instead, she prayed that quick prayer—and said, “I can’t imagine the weight you carry, with thousands relying on your walk with God.” Dave turned around, pulled her close and whispered, “You are my life.” Her empathy, not critique, drew him near. Words That Heal Ann now also prays daily, “God, show me the greatness in my husband.” That prayer changes everything—because God always sees the greatness He planted there, even when we can’t. Romans 12:2 says, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” When we ask God to renew how we think about our spouse, our words follow. And when our words change, ...
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    51 m
  • 503-How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage

    503-How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage
    Oct 4 2025
    How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage On the outside, Jake looked like a happy-go-lucky farmer. But inside, his marriage was falling apart. Control, years of infertility struggles, alcohol abuse, and pornography created a wall between him and his wife. Even counseling couldn’t break through the scar tissue of pain she carried. At one point, she said her willingness to work on the marriage was zero—she was ready to leave. Jake was out of options. Yet, in God’s kindness, what seemed like the worst day became the turning point. His confession of addiction cracked open the first door to healing. What a Farmer Learned About Love in Marriage As a man who worked with horses and cattle his whole life, Jake knew how to communicate safety and calm with animals. Yet God showed him—through the story of David, Bathsheba, and Nathan's rebuke—that he wasn’t doing the same for his wife. The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. 4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.” 5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.” 7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’ - 2 Samuel 12:1-10 The revelation was life-changing: God entrusted him with His daughter. Loving her meant creating safety, trust, and gentleness. Jake realized that real leadership wasn’t control—it was love. Learned to Lead by First Laying Down Pride When Jake finally joined the program, he discovered what he had been missing for years: a biblically based roadmap for marriage. The forgiveness modules were the breakthrough. He had carried anger for so long that it felt like part of his identity. But through forgiveness, Jake experienced freedom he had never known. Old wounds didn’t need apologies to be healed—he released them to God. His wife noticed almost immediately. For the first time in years, she felt safe with him. From Walls to Sanctuary: A Marriage Transformed The changes weren’t just in Jake. His home transformed. He stopped reacting in anger—even when a box fell on his head in the garage. His kids froze, waiting for the outburst that never came. That moment opened his eyes to the unsafe environment his rage had created—and the freedom God was now building in its place. His home shifted from a place of survival to a sanctuary of love. He began looking forward to coming home, slipping away with his wife for time together, and seeing joy reflected in his children. Leading with Love in Everyday Life Jake learned to lead as a husband and father, not by demanding respect but by modeling Christlike love. When walking in after a long day, he chose to bring joy instead of frustration. When tension rose, he chose reassurance over arguments. When intimacy came, it was no longer duty—it was connection, passion, and contentment. Jake also says he has never felt so sexually satisfied, not because of more encounters, but because of the depth of love in his marriage. A Legacy of Leadership The transformation didn’t stop with Jake and his wife. His children are being raised in a different household than they were 12 weeks earlier. His daughters now see how a husband should love his wife. His son now has a model of godly leadership to follow. Generations are being changed because one farmer decided to learn how to lead with love in his marriage. Final Thoughts Marriage was never meant to be endured—it was designed to be a sanctuary of love, trust, and joy. Jake’s story shows that no matter how high the walls are, God can dismantle them brick by brick. True leadership in marriage doesn’t ...
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    46 m
  • 502-How to Win an Argument: Interview with Dr. Kevin Downing

    502-How to Win an Argument: Interview with Dr. Kevin Downing
    Sep 26 2025
    Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John Gottman revealed that the type of conflict in marriage can predict divorce. The number one predictor? Escalation. When escalation takes over, brain scans show that the logical, rational side of the brain shuts down. That’s why conversations in anger lead to slammed doors, reckless words, or ultimatums. With half the brain offline, no real problem-solving can happen. We often think that the “truth” does comes out during these heated moments of escalation, and sometimes spouses even push each other to the brink in an attempt to "get the truth out." But the reality is, this isn't so. The words spoken at the peak of anger are not reliable and usually bring regret. As Dr. Downing explained, escalation is pure poison for marriage. The Fruit of the Spirit in Your Marriage Scripture gives a different path. Galatians 5 teaches that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Self-control means more than biting one’s tongue; it is the Spirit’s power to respond with gentleness when provoked. It is choosing a soft answer when the flesh screams for retaliation. This is what keeps hearts tender and marriages safe. Practical Tools for De-Escalation Dr. Downing offered practical tools couples can use immediately: Use “I” language. Instead of “You’re losing it,” say, “I need a few minutes to calm down. I promise to return.” Pause at night. Words like, “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sure we can work this out” create security before sleep. Reassure often. A 10-second “wedding-vow refresh” can melt deep insecurity: “You’re my one and only—for better or worse, for life.” Don’t debate history. Replace “I remember it better than you” with “We have different recollections.” Then drop it. Offer a new experience. Arguments rarely change minds, but kindness does. Just as a restaurant replaces a meal instead of defending reviews, a spouse can create change by responding with love instead of debate. How to Be on the Same Page about Parenting Conflict in parenting can be just as destructive if spouses are not aligned. But, Dr. Downing emphasized that parenting plans should not be created in the heat of a crisis. An argument is not the time to create a parenting plan, just like the middle of a storm is not the time to create a rain plan. You want to do these things outside of the state of chaos. Instead, couples should sit down calmly after the crisis is done and start with the big picture. What goals do you have for your children? You may ask yourselves: Do we want our children to be God-loving? Self-supporting? Respectful? Loving toward siblings and connected to church? Agreeing on these goals allows a united front in daily decisions. One of the greatest gifts for children is seeing parents present a unified approach. Correcting a spouse in front of the kids undermines authority and invites manipulation. Behind closed doors, differences can be discussed and resolved without giving children the leverage to divide. The Two-Minute Timeout Dr. Downing also shared a simple, powerful discipline tool for parenting: the two-minute timeout. When a child disobeys, responds disrespectfully, or hits a sibling, the consequence is two minutes with two questions: Why were you in timeout? Will this behavior happen again today or tonight? To establish safety and connection, younger children are also given a hug afterward. This short, consistent approach helps children take ownership while keeping parents calm. It prevents long punishments that discourage, as well as shouting matches that model escalation. In fact, the timeout often benefits the parent just as much—allowing emotions to cool so rational thinking returns. By the time children reach their teens, the drill is so familiar that a simple question—“Do you need a timeout?”—is usually enough to prompt self-correction. Final Thoughts Every couple disagrees sometimes, and every parent has those chaotic moments—but they don’t have to end in distance or regret. Escalation will always push hearts apart, but Spirit-led self-control and kindness can draw them close again. The beautiful truth is that transformation doesn’t always come through big, complicated steps. Often it’s the small, intentional choices—pausing before speaking, offering reassurance instead of accusation, giving a child two minutes to reset—that shift ...
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    1 h y 1 m
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