Dear Church: Stop Promising Great Sex After Marriage

The church taught us that if we waited until marriage, sex would be amazing. No shame. No regret. Just blessings. But what happens when your body doesn’t cooperate?

In this episode, I unpack the damage of purity culture’s biggest promise — that obedience guarantees great sex — and why that theology falls apart in real bodies, real marriages, and real lives. We talk about sexual shame, chronic pain, endometriosis, and why guilt and regret aren’t natural consequences of sex — they’re learned responses.

I read directly from Loveology and challenge the authority of male pastors who confidently preach about sex outcomes they’ve never lived, all while ignoring bodies, illness, disability, and lived experience.

This isn’t an anti-sex or anti-abstinence episode. It’s a call to stop weaponizing sex, stop moralizing bodies, and stop promising sexual rewards that can’t be guaranteed.

If you grew up in purity culture, feel confused about sex and faith, or were told your body would “work” if you just obeyed — this episode is for you.