Cultivating The Ability to Be Calm: Managing ADHD Meltdowns, Triggers and Caregiver Overwhelm with Dolly Oksman

Today's episode is about stress, anxiety, the inner critic, and why regulation always starts with us as the adults. I'm delighted to be joined by the founder of Love. Heal.Believe. - Dolly Oksman, a special education teacher with more than a decade of experience supporting children with autism, and someone who is deeply passionate about self-regulation, self-care and helping caregivers stay calm in the middle of chaos. Together, we talk about classroom meltdowns, anticipating triggers, why mistakes are lessons, and how slowing down and working on ourselves can completely transform the way we support our children. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, hard on yourself, or unsure how to stay calm when your child is dysregulated, this conversation is for you. Let's dive in. EPISODE REVEALS Regulation always starts with the adult; our nervous system sets the tone for our children. You can teach calmness and structure life to enhance the ability of you and your child to return quickly to a state of calmness and stay there for longer. The use of structure, visual schedules, routines, breathing, and other relaxation techniques helps children feel safer and become less reactive. Anticipating triggers (noise, crowds, transitions) and planning ahead with headsets, fidgets and social stories reduces meltdowns. Self‑care is non‑negotiable; even 5–10 minutes a day for you protects your capacity to care for your child. Every mistake is feedback. Instead of attacking yourself, ask what you can do differently next time. BEST MOMENTS "Regulation starts with us. Stress and anxiety aren't the enemy, they're messengers, and if we're constantly overwhelmed or running on empty, it becomes very difficult to model calm for our children." "Every day is a learning process … we should not be hard on ourselves." ABOUT THE GUEST https://www.amazon.co.uk/Youve-Got-This-Navigating-Confidence/dp/B0FPBLYLD6 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-Your-Inspirational-Quotes-Ponder/dp/B0CVXCHMHH https://www.lovehealbelieve.com email: [e-mail] https://www.youtube.com/@dollytamposoksman CLIFF´S SERVICES AND BOOKS Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Cliff´s books on Amazon : https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Mr-Cliff-Kilmister/author/B0DN3XV3WP RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/