It's a confusing message: you should be vulnerable and open up to the risk that your partner could hurt you, but also that too much dependence risks tipping over into unhealthy co=dependence, merger, and the loss of a decent sense of self.

So where is that sweet spot, and how do you know if you're falling too far on either end of the spectrum of independence/co-dependence?

Matt and Graham try to make sense of all this in a somewhat free-flowing, going-all-over-the-place episode of Crazy In Love.

If you like what we're doing, subscribe and leave us a review!

Matt and Graham delve into the "no apprenticeship" model of relationships in this episode.

We repeat what we see modelled to us in our own childhood homes. Often, that's two people trying their best to stay together without the skills to make a relationship flourish: conflict resolution, active listening, asking for what you want without whining or retreating into contempt and silence.

We don't learn decent relationship skills at school, either. Any relationship education is fostered on helpful, but limited, skills - empathy and trust, for example. Great for friendships and not making enemies in the workplace, but maybe less helpful for romantic relationships and marriages.

And then there's the culture at large - emphasising unhelpful myths about The One and the romantic dash to the airport. Great for the first few months of lust. Less great for long-term love.

So, what do we do if we haven't had a decent relationship apprenticeship? What if we're stuck with insecure attachment? How can we make love last?

If you like what we're doing with the pod, leave us a five-star review and subscribe.

Nearly one in two marriages don't work out. The failure rate for second marriages is, surprisingly, even higher. We don't learn the lessons we need to learn; we repeat the same mistakes; choose the same, wrong partners.

What can we learn from those failed relationships that can help us learn to make better decisions, and be better partners, so that we can avoid having to call the divorce lawyer next January...?

Like and subscribe to the podcast if you love what we're doing!