Coping Tools for Kids: What to Do With Your Child When a Narcissist Creates Chaos

Episode Summary When you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, your child often absorbs stress they don’t have words for yet. Meltdowns, shutdowns, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm aren’t misbehavior — they’re nervous system responses to chaos. In this episode, Christy shares simple coping tools you can do with your child — not lectures, not fixing, not “calm down” energy — but practical nervous-system supports that create safety, connection, and regulation for both of you. These tools are especially helpful for parents navigating high-conflict co-parenting, post-separation abuse, or emotional manipulation from the other parent. What You’ll Learn Why kids feel narcissistic chaos in their bodies before they can explain it How to help your child regulate without talking badly about the other parent Simple nervous-system tools you can do together Why regulating yourself first is the most powerful parenting move How repair builds more safety than perfection ever could Your Next Step in Healing If you’re trying to support your child while also holding yourself together in a high-conflict co-parenting dynamic, you don’t have to do this alone. I offer 1:1 coaching and somatic support to help you regulate your nervous system, set grounded boundaries, and show up as the calm anchor your child needs — even when the other parent creates chaos. 👉 Transformational Coaching Monthly https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Additional Support & Resources Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts (for high-conflict communication): 00:00): Hello, hello Queens. It's your other queen. Are we queening today? Are we full of queen energy? Good. I have got a special episode for you today that actually one of my clients asked if I would do a podcast dedicated to this. And when you guys want me to do something, I say how, hi, because I'm here for you baby. Alright. In all seriousness, if you are co-parenting with a narcissist, your child is likely absorbing stress that they do not have language for yet, maybe depending on their age, even if they're teens though, it's hard to navigate this stuff as an adult, let alone a teenager or a child, right? So in this episode, I am sharing coping tools you can do with your child, not lectures, not fixing, not calm down energy, which of course I don't want that, right? But simple nervous system tools that build safety together. (01:01) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christy wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dried ice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:59) Okay? So when a narcissist creates chaos, which they do, kids feel it in their bodies first. They may not say I'm dysregulated, but they say it with meltdowns, withdrawal, irritability, stomach aches. And here's the part I want you to hear. Clearly, your child does not need you to explain the narcissist. They need you to help their body feel safe with you. And I say this to a lot of my clients, I've said it on here, one of your best weapons against the narcissist is being an amazing role model, a calm energy, the peace for your child, no matter what the narcissist is doing, no matter how your child is acting toward you, that's another episode, right? I'm not saying you don't discipline your child and guide them and lead them and teach them, but you stay calm, peaceful energy, right? It's a hard job, but someone's got to do it and it ain't the narc. (03:04) So today, these are tools you can do together side by side that help your child regulate and it helps you stay grounded too. So it two birds with one stone baby. Okay? So tool number one, name what you see without fixing. So instead of you are okay, which that's such a common thing I feel like even in my own upbringing, which is fine, love you, mama, but even generationally, that's something, you're fine. You're okay. And I'm not what we're talking about, but saying, you're okay, it's not a big deal. Instead of that try, I see your shoulders are really tense or looks like something feels heavy right now, then pause. This tells your child, my experience makes sense, right? They know they're feeling off. They may not really think it through as much, but I think saying your shoulders are, you look like something's weighing on ...