A 20-year anniversary felt like the right moment to unpack how love, family, and coaching actually work together in real life. I share five lessons that kept our marriage strong and made me a better pro rugby coach: trusting instinct, choosing adventure together, building a home that tells the truth kindly, parenting with intent, and staying fit to protect connection and clarity. It’s the honest version—fast decisions that paid off, moves across continents that stretched us, and late-night debriefs that turned into our best leadership practice.

We start with the story of proposing after just eighteen days and why listening to a strong gut signal can be powerful if you’re willing to back it up with commitment. From there, I talk about the years abroad—Japan, new languages, schools for the kids—and the resilience that grows when your partner turns uncertainty into momentum. The heartbeat of it all is feedback at home: a brave foil who calls you out, asks better questions, and helps you see the person on the other side of your decisions. That habit built our family culture as an environment for growth and made my coaching calmer and more humane.

Parenting four kids taught us to coach different personalities without slipping into nagging. We focused on intent, timing, tone, and the shared good. And we chose health as a daily promise, training together to stay present, confident, and sharp for each other and for the teams I lead. If you care about leadership, relationships, or the craft of coaching, these lessons are practical, lived-in, and ready to use. If the conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so others can find it.

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What if the most important part of coaching isn’t the playbook, but the five-minute chat before training? We sit down with Zane Hilton, assistant coach of the Queensland Reds, to unpack a career built on process, simplicity, and relentless human connection—despite never having played professionally. Zane’s story spans Italy, Japan, Samoa, Tonga, and Australia, revealing how culture becomes real only when it shows up in behavior under pressure.

We dig into his coaching methodology—train well, understand the game’s detail, embrace aggression as mindset, and work hard—and why the order of care, connect, then challenge turns feedback into lasting growth. Zane shares how learning Italian and Japanese unlocked trust and clarity, letting him coach without a translator and proving that language is a competitive advantage. He recalls a turning point with All Blacks legend Chris Jack, who demanded to be coached harder, and explains why elite players often need more precision, not less.

From dynamical systems thinking to practical practice design, Zane shows how to add purposeful stressors that teach accountability, reduce perfectionism, and prepare for game-day chaos. We explore cultural lessons from around the world: Japan’s systems and work ethic, Italy’s passion, and the Pacific Islands’ deep sense of purpose. Finally, we challenge the myth of recruiting only “good blokes,” arguing for a balanced lens of character and capability so players can truly add to the environment.

If you lead teams—or want to—this conversation gives concrete tools: finish prep before players arrive, talk to everyone daily, keep calls and cues simple, and be yourself without apology. Subscribe, share with a coaching friend, and leave a review with the one practice you’ll try this week.

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If you can SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and SHARE the show and series, you would be doing your bit to grow this show. Very appreciated. Ben

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A dusty bookshelf turned into a wake-up call. While sorting old favorites, we found a box of Tuesdays with Morrie—and that rediscovery became a fresh look at how culture, love, and emotion shape the way we coach and lead. What starts as a short memoir about weekly visits to a dying professor unfolds into a clear-eyed syllabus for living with purpose when the world keeps pushing speed, status, and more.

We walk through the story’s simple structure—Tuesdays as classes—and pull out the lessons that stick. First, the culture you inherit is not the culture you must accept. When status and achievement drown out meaning, leaders have the right and responsibility to choose a different path. Then we get to the heart of it: love is the point. Not soft or vague, but the kind of connection that builds trust, fuels standards, and makes hard feedback land without breaking people. Love shows up in how a team trains, how a staff supports each other, and how we stay human on tough days.

We close with the most uncomfortable and useful skill: feeling emotion fully and moving through it. Maurie refuses to harden, and that choice becomes a model for performance under pressure. Emotional honesty creates stronger rooms, better decisions, and real resilience. As the book’s final pages remind us, high standards and deep care can live together, and leadership is not only what you demand; it’s what you give. If you’ve ever questioned what you’re chasing—or how to build a culture that actually helps people thrive—this conversation will meet you right where you are.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a reset, and leave a quick review to help others find it. Then grab Tuesdays with Morrie and tell us the quote that moved you most.

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If you can SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and SHARE the show and series, you would be doing your bit to grow this show. Very appreciated. Ben

To subscribe to the newsletter or to get a copy of the book, jump onto:

www.coachingculture.com.au

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Share this show with your mates, rugby, coaches, leaders! Dont be shy.