The Flat Earth Society is alive and thriving within The Anti-Matter Minute Dimension… and we’re here to suffer through it. This week, we found an actual Flat Earth podcast that takes itself way too seriously, so we’re doing what any responsible podcasters would do—playing it MST3K-style and ripping it apart.

But that’s not all! After the roasting ‘The Anti-Globe Trotters’, we take things even further with our OWN models (so step aside Copernicus!) where we create our own absurd Flat Earth models that are somehow even dumber than the real thing.

So grab a drink (but keep it level) and prepare to be brainwashed by government pigeons, because this episode is flatter than a bar mat at closing time.

🚀 Strap in, because it’s time to throw science into the black abyss of space! Stay slurred!

Today’s Hyperspace Headlines:

• https://apnews.com/article/walmart-shoplifters-michigan-car-wash-b4c62768e19c85012efa060a70721787

• https://www.smh.com.au/national/victoria/shelter-worker-scoured-bin-of-dog-vomit-for-human-toes-to-sell-for-400-on-black-market-20250317-p5lk1i.html

Special Segment: The Harlem Anti-Globe Trotters

Riffing on the 1st episode of “The Flat Earth Files - Why The Lie?”

• https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Uzc1XG8XaSXVFeDLOGNdS?si=34b057e163ae480d

DISCLAIMER: Close Encounters of the Slurred Kind is a Slurred Kind LLC Production and a comedy podcast that frequently engages in satire, parody, and critical commentary. The content featured in this episode is used under the principles of fair use for the purpose of review, discussion, and comedic critique. Any opinions expressed are purely for entertainment and should not be taken as factual statements. If you believe the Earth is a pizza and NASA is the delivery guy, that’s on you. Stay slurred.

Banter BeaconJoeba & Ripley’s NEW Flat Earth Model

Interstellar Index (Social links)

• IG - https://instagram.com/theslurredkind

• Twitter - https://x.com/theslurredkind?s=21

• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Theslurredkind?mibextid=LQQJ4d

• Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1435506800329193/

• Email - closeencountersslurredkind@gmail.com

Podcast Outro By:

Stop.Drop.Rewind - “Space Force Theme Song”

The Black Swirl’s Warp Core is Powered By…👇

The Eternal Void (No one for now. ZERO is at the helm. God help us all.

**✨Love the show? Help fuel the warp core!✨**

If you're enjoying the chaos in The Anti-Matter Minute, do us a solid:

**Rate & Review Close Encounters of The Slurred Kind!**

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🎙️ **Apple Podcasts:** http://bit.ly/43yPqaI

🎧 **Spotify:** Follow & hit that 5-star button!

Every review keeps the timeline glitching and Zero-Frux spiraling. Stay slurred!

**Show Notes**

The Black Swirl's warp drive has been hijacked by pints of Guinness and drunken alternate timelines... and Joeba & Ripley are here to make sure it spirals out of control. In this St. Paddy’s Day special, we take the Anti-Matter Minute through an emerald-colored wormhole of chaos, rewriting superhero history one to many pints at a time. With such discussions as:

🍀 What If… Iron Man couldn’t snap because he pre-gamed too hard?

🦢 Introducing **The Gaelic Goose**—Bruce Wayne trades Gotham for Dublin, and a cape for feathers

⚡ The Flash gets a DUI… across four dimensions

PLUS: We spotlight and roast the forgotten, bizarre Irish superheroes Marvel & DC buried at the bottom of a pint glass.

🚀 Grab your green drink and strap in—it’s a Guinness-fueled mess in here. Stay slurred!

**Today’s Hyperspace Headlines:**

https://www.kktv.com/2025/02/18/colorado-men-accused-attempting-use-cannon-launch-meth-tobacco-into-louisiana-prison/

https://apnews.com/article/walmart-shoplifters-michigan-car-wash-b4c62768e19c85012efa060a70721787

**Banter Beacon:**

Joeba & Ripley’s Guinness-Soaked "What If…" Alternate Timelines.

**Special Segment: Irish Superheroes**

Wait… They Exist?)

**Interstellar Index (Social links)**

IG - https://instagram.com/theslurredkind

Twitter - https://x.com/theslurredkind?s=21

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Theslurredkind?mibextid=LQQJ4d

Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1435506800329193/

Email - closeencountersslurredkind@gmail.com

**Podcast Outro By:**

Stop.Drop.Rewind - “Space Force Theme Song”

**The Black Swirl’s Warp Core is Powered By…👇**

The Eternal Void (No one for now. ZERO is at the helm. God help us all.)

**Stardate:** 81042.6

**Recording Status:** "Spilling Over"

**System Status:**

Zero-Frux attempted transcription… Result: **[ERROR 502: Bad Gateway to Sanity]**

Notes corrupted due to **"severe beer flood and excessive nonsense levels."** Recovery efforts... **[FAILED]**

**[Transcript Reconstruction: BEGIN]**

: "Ripley, if an AI passes out, does it dream of electric hangovers?"

: "Depends. Did it drink enough liquid RAM?"

: "Zero, initiate coherent speech mode..."

: **[COMMAND REJECTED: SYSTEM SLURRING AT 85%]**

**Highlights (if you can call them that):**

: "If a Xenomorph plays beer pong, does it count as acid damage?"

: "Why does Predator’s helmet have WiFi, but Zero-Frux still runs on dial-up?"

**[Random Tangent Detected]** – Discussion derails into whether beer foam is technically a **"tiny drunk cloud."**

**[Error Code 808: Infinite Loop]** – Zero attempts to define **"quantum chugging"** but crashes after attempting to divide by hops.

**System Notes:**

"Data compromised. Hosts continue to spout absurdity. Immediate intervention required… *but also kinda entertaining.*"