“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” In most weddings today, these words are just a quaint formality. But what stands behind them is a timeless biblical principle—that parents have the authority to give or withhold consent in their children’s marriages. The truth is, parents generally know their children better than they know themselves and see blind spots they miss. This said, parents should exercise their authority with wisdom. They must recognize there’s no “perfect suitor” and that their child and potential spouse won’t be as mature, at age 20 or 25, as they are now.

Learn more on these points in: A Holy Vision for Raising Children

How do parents cultivate a child’s affection? First and foremost, model love in your marriage. You can be perfect technicians in child training, but if you’re snippety toward your spouse, you’ll undo everything—so teach your children, by example, what loving respect is through your conversations. Second, give clear expectations and hold your children to them. You only get what you insist on, so promptly discipline them in love when they cross the line. Finally, don’t allow your children to constantly interrupt, but teach them to wait to ask questions by modeling patience as husband and wife.

Learn more on these points in: A Holy Vision for Raising Children