Care-Experienced People (Mini-Series) - Episode 5: The Lived Experience of Kinship Care

In this episode, we delve into the often-overlooked nuances of kinship care through the lens of lived experience. While kinship care—being raised by family members or close friends rather than in the general foster care system—is frequently highlighted in policy as a preferred alternative, the voices of the children within these dynamics are rarely centered.

Our host is joined by Blu Mikel, who shares her personal journey of being raised under a kinship guardianship arrangement by her aunt. Together, they deconstruct the "happy-go-lucky" myth of kinship care to reveal the complex layers of identity, "othering," and the silent trauma of displacement.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Identity Gap: The struggle of living in a family setting where you are "the niece, not the daughter," and how micro-instances—like having a different last name—can impact a child’s sense of belonging.
• The "Unspoken Rule" of Silence: The emotional toll of living in a household where the biological parents and the reasons for removal are "off-limits" topics, leading to internalized shame and lowered self-esteem.
• Systemic Neglect and the 18+ Cliff: The reality of "falling through the gaps" when local authority support vanishes at 18, and why the presumption that kinship care equals lifelong stability is a dangerous policy flaw.
• Adultification and Agency: The duality of being expected to act with adult-like gratitude while having no power or choice regarding contact with birth parents or living arrangements.
• Trauma-Informed Solutions: Why we need a "manual" for kinship dynamics, better financial support for carers, and a community that acknowledges kinship care as a valid—and often traumatic—care experience.

"Just because one situation might be seen as a better alternative, that doesn't mean it is automatically one... We need to look at things more holistically." — Blu Mikel

Resources Mentioned:

• Kinship (formerly Grandparents Plus): A leading charity supporting kinship carers.
• NNEC (National Network for the Education of Care Leavers): Supporting care-experienced and estranged students in higher education.
• Care Leavers Association: For definitions and support surrounding care experience.

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