Cantina D'Italia

Welcome to Cantina D'Italia, a suburban Italian restaurant situated in the middle of a busy strip mall. For an amuse bouche, chef has carefully placed a gently used butter packet in between your serving dishes, a playful nod to our casual approach to hygiene. In the appetizer section of our meal, you can enjoy the finest frozen mozzarella sticks that Sysco sells in a bulk box. After enjoying a vodka and seawater martini, please dine on some boxed pasta, Kraft parm crumbles, and canned sauces.

This episode was recorded directly after our pilot episode, and the crew is left a little saucy from two straight hours of drinking and criticizing, but the episode is saved from mediocrity when Judith leads us through the origin story about the fictional staff of Cantina D'Italia. Learn about Frank and his 1998 Nissan Sentra, Jerry and his seething distaste for Frank, and a very tiny cart that serves as the focal point of the restaurant dynamics.

Credits:

• "In the heart of dear old Italy" Victor Records, 1921. Public Domain via US Library Of Congress
• "Stay in Italy" by Irving Berlin, Columbia Records, 1911. Public Domain via US Library of Congress
• "an Italian restaurant in a strip mall, digital art” generated by James Barnes and Dall-E