COASTAL LAUNDRY (ft. Brittany Stahl)

(1980 - 2024) Elaine Snatch, local launderer of clothes and money, kicked the proverbial bowling ball down the alley last night. As mother of the Mayor of Coast and vigilante prosecutor of big business bullies everywhere, Snatch rose to prominence in sort of a reverse-nepo-baby situation. She will be remembered as the woman who spread all those waterborne foot illnesses while also being responsible for cleaning clothes. Daughters who woo and sons who build pyramids with their own bodies will mourn her death everywhere. Funeral will be held in a massive Target sign during South Coast Bingo night - no creepy singles allowed. New episode thuuuursday.