Renown joy-giver, Mel "Jolly Boy" Gibson, plays Santa Claus in this "stop-watching-and-go-straight-to-the-next-movie" holiday flick!

God make man. Man kill man. Man kill God, too? Man make killed man, man again, but oops killed man kill man? Okay, so — okay. Okay. So God made man make killed man make man kill God to make killed man, man again to kill man 👍 Bingo.

Tl;dr: Po Dameron makes Saltburn.

"LiTtLe LaTe DoNtChA tHiNk??" It's never too late to hate. Also, we'd say we're doubtful another episode will ever be this short, but we have no idea. This was just the least enjoyable "movie-going" (streaming) experience we've ever had. TOUCHDOWN!

*This description is brought to you by Amazon Prime.*

*DISCLAIMER: This description is NOT brought to you by Amazon Prime.*

It's HALLOWEEN! So maybe a little late for John&Nick's list of "Low-Key" HORROR bangers and current HORROR favorites, BUT...OOPS!

Probably the longest episode we'll ever make! How scary!

*RANKINGS are DUMB. This is merely a LIST.*

*Aaaand back to the old chapter format*

(00:00:00) INTRO. Part 1: TOP 10 "Low-Key" Horror Bangers

(00:05:45) La** ***** **** *** *****

(00:09:30) Pa******** ********

(00:13:33) CU**

(00:16:33) The R*****

(00:21:54) Ma*******

(00:26:04) Ap*****

(00:30:19) No**** ****** ** *** ***** *******

(00:34:00) Pr**** ** ********

(00:43:44) Ca****

(00:49:45) An*****

(00:55:59) INTRO. Part 2: Top 5 "Favorites"

(00:58:12) PICK 1

(1:12:58) PICK 2

(1:29:01) PICK 3

(1:40:13) PICK 4

(2:05:16) PICK 5

(2:22:52) OUTRO.

JK Simmons is jaw-dropping in this Lovecraftian, "Will they? Won't they?" glory-hole romcom. If you're feeling a little cosmically curious, tune in to listen to John and Nick, uhhh...Talk about that? Yeah, to talk about that. And other stuff. Tune in for GLORIOUS.