Buckets of Lies: The Colonel Would Never Approve

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In this episode of The Introverted Obelisk, we sink our teeth — or at least pretend to — into I Eat Your Skin (1964, finally released in 1970), the zombie misfire with a title so good it should’ve been arrested for false advertising. Promising cannibalistic horror and flesh-ripping mayhem, the film instead delivers papier-mâché zombies, voodoo rituals filmed on the cheap in Florida, and dialogue so stilted it feels imported from another planet.

I walk you through the decade-long shelf life that ended with Jerry Gross pairing it with I Drink Your Blood in a double bill, because if one movie didn’t deliver, surely two would distract you. Along the way, we meet our heroes: a smarmy novelist, a parade of vacationing bystanders, and a mad scientist whose experiments seem less terrifying than the production values.

I dig into how the film’s real horror isn’t skin consumption but false advertising, and how sometimes the drive-in promised you steak but served you cold Spam. No gore, no terror, but plenty to laugh at.

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