No Half Cakes Founder and Podcast Host Jim Sabellico

How do you define success?

Most of us are or were under the impression that success means money, status, and stuff--all obtained through a brutal amount of work and time.

Jim Sabellico thought so too. At least until the night his wife had to relight the candles on his six-year-old son's half-eaten birthday cake so he could sing Happy Birthday to his boy. Jim missed the family moment because he was "busy working."

Men have generally been tasked with being "successful" to provide for their families. Unfortunately, the definition of success has too often focused on money and materialism while leaving out family, relationships, presence and purpose.

Jim's wake-up moment changed that for him. He began to reset by owning his situation clarifying his values (family, honor and integrity), and taking action to rise and rebuild his definition of success.

Jim's commitment to reshaping his life served as a model for not only himself, but his children and others, particularly men who have sacrificed their relationships and sense of self to "success." That's when the No Half Cakes podcast was born. Since then, Jim has made it his mission to share his strategies for genuine personal and professional success through the No Half Cakes podcast and his HeartCore Program.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we recognize the power of perspective and taking the time to know and be true to your values to live a Brilliantly Resilient life. Learn more about Jim's work here, and be sure to listen to the No Half Cakes podcast. Tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Jim's wisdom and listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• “I had no relationship with my kids, no relationship with my wife... and by every other metric, I was a total failure.”
• “After I made the promise to myself, I started the hard part—recognizing that it’s not everyone else’s fault. I had to stop placing blame.”
• "If you don’t know where you are, no instructions will get you where you’re going. You need to know your starting point.”
• “You can't be good for other people if you're not good for yourself first.”
• “Your kids need to see you struggle. They need to understand that mom and dad are not perfect—and how we handle that matters.”
• “Children cannot be what they cannot see... you have to model the life you want them to emulate.”
• “I now live like there’s a documentary crew following me—I act with honor and integrity so there’s nothing to hide.”
• “Start journaling, talking, or even just voicing your feelings to yourself. That’s how you find the real you underneath it all.”
• “This isn’t an on/off switch. It’s a 0.2% shift every day. I’m a totally different person than I was five years ago—and that’s the goal."

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

"The 20s are not the best days of your life. It is a myth that needs to be busted.”
~ Kate Berski, Author: 30 Phobia: Why Your 20s Suck and How to Get Unstuck

Ah, to be 20 again, right? After all, the 20s are supposed to be the best time of our lives, right?

Not so fast.

Kate Berski, author of 30 Phobia: Why Your 20s Suck and How to Get Unstuck notes that despite the myth, the 20's are a "tumultuous decade" full of self-doubt, unhealthy comparisons and societal pressure.

Saddled with a demanding timeline that prescribes benchmarks that "should" be achieved, Kate recognizes that the To-do list for 20-somethings is not one-size-fits-all. She advises young people to take the time to reflect on what fits them, choosing to reset old standards with intention to fit their own values, skills and wants.

With small, purposeful steps, 20-somethings can Rise to create a life that fits not predetermined milestones--get the corporate job, get married, buy the house, have the kids--but individual ones that evolve with a changing mindset and changing goals. The 20's can be a starting line fo discovery, provided we support young people who choose to forge a path that fits them.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we're firm believers in ditching what "should be" to make room for what "could be." In this case, a fulfilling life that allows individual Brilliance and Resilience to shine, without comparisons.

Be sure to pick up a copy of 30 Phobia and tune in to hear more of Kate's brilliance on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. Listen for these additional bits of brilliance:

• “I started to question the internal societal timeline I had internalized to the point of panic.”
• “Uncertainty is just a flag for opportunity.”
• “You don’t have to wedge yourself into a particular life path at 18.”
• “Stop looking out. Start looking in.”
• “You’re not failing. You’re not stuck. You’re just on someone else’s timeline."
• “There are no deadlines on dreams.”

The 20's can be a time rife with opportunity--as long as young people have the courage to set their own goals and timeline. Let's support our young adults, and...

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

“Great leadership starts by leading with a mindset that's scalable—being willing to see things bigger. What would this look like if...?”

~ Ivy Slater, CEO of Slater Success and Author of Best of the Best: Lead Boldly, Scale Rapidly, Create Your Legacy

What does the word "scalable" mean to you?

If you are an entrepreneur, or work with an organization seeking to build (aren't we all?), the word "scalable" should motivate and inspire. Yet, "scalable" also holds some weight, and can be intimidating.

Slater Success CEO and author Ivy Slater reminds us that all businesses are scalable. And if the word intimidates, Ivy says, “Scaling is intimidating to you? Throw the word out. Just say: I'm going to grow.” Grow. Yes; that we can do.

Ivy reminds us that growth takes intention, flexibility, the willingness to pause, reevaluate and accept that scaling often comes not in giant leaps but in grounded, thoughtful steps.

One of the most basic steps is intentional alignment with values-driven leadership, thus providing a strong foundation for present and future growth. Followed by imperfect but intentional action, scaling becomes a manageable process that also begins to create a legacy for a sustainable, growth-oriented organization. Ivy also reminds us to build relationships--one former client returned to her years later with a new project based upon their past relationship.

Values, tribe, imperfect intentional action--all foundations of the Brilliantly Resilient method, useful in business and in life.

Be sure to pick up your copy of Best of the Best: Lead Boldly, Scale Rapidly, Create Your Legacy. Tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Ivy's wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• “When you're faced with an obstacle and you're just looking at the obstacle, it doesn't disappear.”
• “It is not easy. When you're dealing with things that are spinning… what we want to do is ground it. And you ground it by stepping away, shifting your perspective, and asking: what is actually possible right now?”
• “Stop and take a breath. Walk away from your desk. Shift your environment, because when we stay in the same environment, we are a horse in a horse race running with blinders.”
• “If you're scaling a company and you don't know your values, it reflects in your hiring. It reflects in your clients. There has to be alignment or there's no opportunity to scale.”
• “Great leadership starts with leading with a mindset that's scalable—being willing to see things bigger. What would this look like if...?”
• “When you respond with an emotional reaction, you're doing a disservice to yourself. You don't get to look as brilliant as you truly are.”
  “Your best resources show up with an open mind and an open heart to see things from an unbiased opportunity.”

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

~Dr. Joan Palmiter Bajorek AI Expert and Author of: Your AI Roadmap: Actions to Expand Your Career, Money and Joy"

Are you afraid of AI?

Artificial Intelligence has long been the stuff of science fiction, with the "artificial" becoming real and taking over the world. Yikes. But AI is here to stay, and according to AI expert, Dr. Joan Palmiter Bajorek, there ways to both utilize this amazing tool to work and live more efficiently and effectively, as well as to prepare for the changes, particularly in our work lives, that are to come.

In her book, Your AI Roadmap: Actions to Expand Your Career, Monay and Joy, Dr. Bajorek speaks directly to the fear and uncertainty that many professionals feel as AI transforms the job landscape. Yes, it can be scary, but AI also offers tremendous opportunities. Her first tip: get curious about AI. Acknowledge what's happening and play.

Play? Yes. Simply opening Chat GPT or trying AI with a friend can not only decrease anxiety, but shift the mindset from fear to learning and intention.

Further, it's essential to elevate your own profile or brand to become well known for your skill set--and AI can help to create a powerful online profile. It's also important to recognize that human relationships are still a major part of finding opportunities. Dr. Bajorek cites that 70% of post-COVID job seekers landed their next role through personal introductions—not job boards. Take control of your own narrative and actively engage with relationship building while utilizing AI as a tool. And AI is a tool, not a replacement. Humans still bring the creativity, strategy and discernment behind the machine.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we recognize the value of imperfect action--the playing in this scenario--to learn and build confidence. Play, and use AI as a tool to grow, enhancing your value and impact as we all move forward in this strange new world. Tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast for more of Dr. Bajorek's wisdom and listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• “We don’t have to be alone… Maybe you do it with a friend. Honestly, just having community around it—we don’t have to be alone.”
• “The number one thing I get is, ‘How do I get a job in AI?’ … In my book, the first part is about actually personal brand—being known for the work you’ve already done and being known for it online.”
• “Your network—how do people know you? … That’s the main route [to the next opportunity, not the side route.”
• “Even if you are in a supposedly stable career… take on some side projects, take on mentoring, because you never know when that kind of thing is going to lead to something else.”
• “Document your prompts in a Word doc. Keep those things—next time you do this task, here it is. You can do the next job more efficiently and well.”
• “I think the way I really see it...is that people who aren’t using these tools may be the ones first impacted by layoffs versus the ones that are working to augment, upskill, etc.”

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

~ Ash Beckham, Everyday Leadership Coach, Inclusion Activist, TEDx Speaker and Author of Step Up: How to Live with Courage and Become an Everyday Leader

Ash Beckham believes that the hardest thing you've ever done is valid simply because it was hard for you. Her approach encourages people to strip away comparison around struggle and instead recognize the commonality of the human experience--we all struggle.

When we remember that whatever we are doing in relation to others, we are interacting with another human first, we create common ground, without judgement, allowing for greater communication, conversation, and progress in our work and personal lives. By immediately establishing empathy and recognizing the human experience as one we all share, we also create opportunities to lead, whether in a professional or personal capacity.

Rooted in eight specific pillars (empathy, responsibility courage, grace, individuality, humor, patience, and authenticity), Ash's straigtforward leadership model focuses on understanding the humans we encounter, building leadership that isn't about controlling, but rather elevating collective strength. It's a reminder of the importance of the Brilliantly Resilient focus on building a tribe, which is much simpler and effective when we begin by recognizing the commonality of who we all are.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we believe everyone has their own Brilliance, just as Ash believes that anyone who shows up with compassion and courage has the potential to lead. By substituting curiosity for judgement, we not only reveal our own Brilliance, but also create space for others to shine.

Be sure to check out Step Up: How to Live with Courage and Become an Everyday Leader. Tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Ash's wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• Anybody from the Fortune 50 CEO to the bench warmer on the 7th grade basketball team has the power to lead in the way they show up every day. They just have to realize that they have that power.
• We don't necessarily pick where we become leaders.
• Leadership is a mindset. It's not a job title.
• Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you can lead.
• When we connect, you can collaborate. When you collaborate, you can move forward... it becomes more of a ‘you and I are doing this together’ than ‘I am telling you what to do.’
• React to the other human and consider where they're coming from as well as where you're coming from.
• You can’t want diversity and not support it or you’re not going to get the benefits of having diverse perspectives.
• Every interaction you have with another human, you come out the other side changed—and so do they.

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

~ Jay Armstrong

Author of A Good Calamity: Useful Essays and Poems on Living with a Disability

Are you struggling to accept something hard in your life? Are you even thinking about acceptance, or are you still fighting the hard truth?

Jay Armstrong was diagnosed with ataxia (a degenerative disease of the brain and nervous system) in 2013, shortly after the birth of his youngest son. The disease affects Jay's movement, balance and speech, among other things.

Jay notes that accepting his disease has been a challenge, but one that has helped him build lasting resilience. "You have to own your struggles," Jay says. "I no longer put my handicapped devices in the closet. I keep them out and say, 'This is who I am.'" (Jay has also named his walking cane Clark Able. Hahahaha!)

As we often say in Brilliantly Resilient, owning our struggles not only builds resilience, but allows us to let go of what "should be," to make room for what "could be." In Jay's case, he "should not have been" stricken with ataxia, but it is his reality. Once we accept our reality, we're better able to determine what "could be" possible and take small, incremental steps to rebuild.

Jay's new book A Good Calamity: Useful Essays and Poems on Living with a Disability, is the fourth book in his journey on living with his disease and its effect on his life and that of his family. It's funny, moving, and a testament to hard won resilience and wisdom.

Tune in to hear more of Jay's wisdom on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• Hard won wisdom doesn't come easy, but it comes honest.
• A Good Calamity: Useful Essays and Poems on Living with a Disability This is the first time I owned the word "disability" by putting it on the cover of the book. I was owning it. I have to own everything.
• Part of my acceptance was littering my life with visual reminders. You have to own your struggles. I no longer put my handicapped devices in the closet. I keep them out and say, 'This is who I am.'
• My son asked me if I could go into the ocean and throw him into the water like another father was doing. And I had to say, 'No; I can't do that.' And that hurt...for a long time. Eventually, I realized that what I could do was be present. Presence matters. I can be there. And that's what my children will remember. That I was there.
• You eventually realize that no one is going to save you. Holding out hope for a cure becomes futile. What I tell other people and I tell myself is to accept this in little minute increments. Do little things to help yourself.
• Resilience is built one brick, one action at a time. Those dark times will come, but you're better able to muscle through them.
• Humor is an underrated survival skill. A big part of my survival is making my kids laugh. Take your humor seriously.
• Accepting is allowing others to see the hard truth of my life.... Now when someone asks if they can help me, I can be vulnerable with them.... When they ask if they can help, it's because they love me. I used to see it as pity; now I see it as love.

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran

"Be involved in both your business and personal finances. 80% of women will die single. At some point in your life you are going to have to manage your finances. A man is not a financial plan."

Are you in financial survival mode? Many women are. It's a mindset trap that many women, especially female entrepreneurs, can fall into. But it's possible to make the shift from survival mode to lasting wealth.

Audrey Faust is the best-selling author of She Grows Rich. Audrey notes that "money is emotionally charged for women," often keeping them from approaching finances strategically, or ignoring finances all together.

With simple, achievable, step-by-step strategies, Audrey helps women create confidence and empowerment around personal and business finances. She guides women on creating a financial blueprint, which she notes is different than a budget, as it lets women decide where their money goes and where they want to see it grow. By encouraging women to take charge of their finances and invest in themselves and their businesses, Audrey uses "reverse engineering" to help clarify action steps towards financial security and success. She also reminds entrepreneurs to charge what they're worth! (And why is that so hard????)

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that education and action are essential to creating successful, fulfilling professional and personal lives. Further, in order to establish financial security and confidence, women need to take responsibility for themselves and their futures.

To help you start on your journey to financial empowerment, Audrey is offering a free download titled 12 Secrets from and Expert CFO. Get your copy here, and order your copy of She Grows Rich here.

Tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Audrey's wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• Mindset and financial strategies are the best combination for women and money.
• Women are givers and nurturers by nature, which can make it harder to focus on financial strategies.
• Women weren't even allowed to have a credit card in their own name until 1974.
• You need to financially invest in something to see results.
• Make sure your profit is what it would be if you were working in the marketplace.
• If you are closing 100% of your prospects, your prices are too low. Aim for a 50 to 80% closing rate.
• Take the judgement out of handling your finances.
• If you don't make a profit in your business within 3 years, the IRS can classify your business as a hobby, which means you cannot deduct expenses, there are no tax breaks and there is tax on any income.
• Be involved in both your business and personal finances. 80% of women will die single. At some pint in your life you are going to have to manage your finances. A man is not a financial plan.

Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together!

(And click here to buy your copy of From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life, by me!!)

XO,

Mary Fran