Breaking the Silence: Suicide Loss, Self-Harm, and Healing Through Community with Jen Hoye

Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicide, self-harm, and mental health struggles.If you or someone you know needs support, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.Call or text 988 (U.S.) or visit 988lifeline.org

Episode Summary

In this raw and deeply human conversation, Heather sits down with writer, mental health advocate, and marathon runner Jen Hoye, author of Thick Thighs, Tattoos & Breaking Taboos. Jen shares the story of losing her brother Teddy to suicide—and how grief, anger, self-harm, and isolation became the road she had to walk before she could begin healing.

What started as one small walk during the pandemic turned into an extraordinary mission: Healing Miles, where Jen honors lives lost to suicide through running and storytelling. This episode is filled with honesty, humor, and hope—plus practical conversation about asking the hard questions, breaking cultural silence, and letting joy and grief coexist.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Jen identifies first as a mom, and as a lifelong writer who used words to be heard in a loud family culture.
• Losing her brother Teddy to suicide in 2017 changed her life completely—she says she stopped living for years.Teddy was mischievous, hilarious, deeply kind, and prepared for everything—“a helper” in every way.
• Grief wasn’t processed at first; Jen describes years of anger, secrecy, disconnection, and coping through binge eating, self-harm, shopping, and staying numb.
• COVID forced a turning point: her secret coping strategies couldn’t stay hidden with everyone home.Healing began with an almost impossibly small step: walking 0.1 miles, then doing it again.
• A fundraiser turned into a mission: 300 miles in a month, dedicating each day to someone lost to suicide—Jen realized how many families need to be seen.
• She reframes “be strong” as often being for other people so they don’t have to witness grief.
• She emphasizes the importance of asking directly: “Are you thinking of taking your life?”
• Jen shares a pivotal story where a young woman came to her because she had a plan—and today she is thriving.
• Advocacy is both service and connection: she feels it keeps her close to Teddy by living his best qualities.Grief is not linear and never “ends”—you just learn to carry it differently.
• Jen talks about identity: breaking out of boxes, people-pleasing, and reclaiming self-trust.
• Her ultimate hope: readers feel seen, heard, understood, and believe they can build a beautiful life after loss.

Heather’s Reflection

• Heather highlights the power of choice as a superpower—how one small choice (a walk) can change your life.
• She relates deeply to turning pain inward and discusses the importance of not glossing over emotions: feel your feelings, but don’t live there.
• Heather validates grief as more than death—grief can be losing a version of life, identity, relationships, or safety.
• She reinforces that honest conversations can change lives—silence makes things grow heavier, while speaking releases pressure.
• Heather ties identity + belief systems into the theme: we often live from inherited beliefs and expectations instead of who we truly are.

Guest Bio

Jen Hoye is a writer, mental health advocate, and the author of Thick Thighs, Tattoos & Breaking Taboos. She founded Healing Miles, honoring lives lost to suicide through running and storytelling. Jen has represented suicide prevention and mental health charities in major races including the Boston and Chicago Marathons, and she is a frequent speaker on suicide prevention, grief, and mental health.

Connect with Jen

IG: @jen.and.pen

FB: Jen Fusco Hoye

Website: jenniferhoye.com

Book available at local bookshops, select Barnes & Noble locations (Northeast), and online (Amazon/B&N).

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