Brandi and AJ’s Story: Mormon to Atheist to Christian

In this episode, Brandi and AJ share how unanswered questions, painful discovery, and an honest search for truth led them from “grinding for godhood” in Mormonism to encountering the real Jesus of the Bible.

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Brandi and AJ’s Story: Mormon to Atheist to Christian

Brandi and AJ were doing everything “right.” They were BYU grads, married, building a life, raising kids, and fully committed to the LDS vision of a faithful future. AJ describes it like “grinding for godhood”—a life built on steps, worthiness, temple goals, and constant striving. But then the foundation started to crack.

For AJ, some of the doctrinal history raised unsettling questions (including ideas like “blood atonement,” which they mention they’ll unpack later). For Brandi, the tipping point was watching changes in the LDS church after COVID and feeling like the church was shifting in a more progressive direction. She tried to address it the way a devoted member would: she wrote letters to Salt Lake City headquarters about what she saw as inconsistency—especially related to abortion and human life. She wasn’t trying to tear anything down. She genuinely believed the LDS church was true, and she wanted it to be consistent.

But the response felt dismissive—more like a polite pat on the head than a meaningful engagement. That frustration pushed them into a place they never thought they’d go: researching.

Looking for answers… without wanting to “deconstruct”

Brandi makes an important clarification: they weren’t hunting for “gotcha” moments. They didn’t go searching because they assumed the church was false. In fact, they needed it to be true. That’s why reading outside sources felt dangerous. AJ describes that fear as avoiding the “cognitive dissonance fire”—because their hearts were convinced, and they didn’t want their minds persuaded that everything was a lie.

But once they started reading, the “genie” didn’t go back in the bottle.

They looked at sources like MormonThink because it included multiple perspectives—both critical claims and apologetic responses. That felt more balanced. Still, it wasn’t official, and Brandi felt guilty even being there. Eventually, as more historical issues piled up (like multiple First Vision accounts, questions surrounding the Book of Abraham, and other details they had never been taught), Brandi felt desperate for the church itself to clarify things. So they turned to the Gospel Topics Essays—official LDS content hosted on the LDS website.

That’s where everything shifted.

Instead of restoring confidence, the essays confirmed key issues and, in Brandi’s view, exposed more “spin” than clarity. For the first time, she seriously wrestled with the question: What if the church isn’t true?

The crossroads: nuance or truth

AJ explains how people often survive early doubts by “nuancing” their faith—making room for uncomfortable data while keeping the system intact. But eventually, they reached a crossroads: Would they live in a...