Brandi and AJ’s Story: BYU Mormons Grinding for Godhood - Unveiling Mormonism

In this episode, Bryan sits down with Brandi and AJ to hear how a lifetime of devotion to Mormon exaltation turned into what they call “grinding for godhood”—a relentless pursuit of worthiness, temple marriage, and eternal approval. Their story reveals the hidden pressure of a works-based faith and sets the stage for how God began to unravel everything they thought was true.

--

The Unveiling Mormonism podcast pulls back the curtain on Mormon history, culture and doctrine. Join us for new episodes every Monday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/mormonism.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [e-mail].

Donate Now

--

Check out Brandi's Book: The Journey to Jesus: Finding Christ after Leaving Mormonism

Grinding for Godhood: Life Inside Mormon Exaltation

In this episode, Bryan talks with Brandi and AJ, two former Mormons who were fully committed to their faith from childhood. Brandi introduces a phrase that captures their experience perfectly: “grinding for godhood.” It describes a life shaped by striving—keeping covenants, qualifying for temple blessings, and doing everything necessary to reach exaltation.

What does “grinding for godhood” mean?

Brandi explains that from a young age she believed her purpose was to tap into her divine nature and eventually become like God. This wasn’t driven by ego or a desire to be worshiped. It felt like obligation—this is what I was created for, and I have to take it seriously.

AJ felt the same pressure. The temple represented the ultimate goal: exaltation, eternal family, and eternal progression. Getting to the temple—and staying worthy—was everything.

Women, godhood, and the temple

For Brandi, godhood wasn’t just a “male” idea. She fully expected to become like a “Heavenly Mother,” even though Heavenly Mother was rarely discussed in Mormonism. Eternity was tied to temple marriage, which meant finding the right husband wasn’t optional—it was essential.

That belief raised the stakes on dating, college decisions, and life itself.

Utah vs. California Mormonism

AJ grew up in Utah, where Mormonism was normal and rarely questioned. Brandi grew up in California, constantly interacting with non-Mormons and Christians who challenged her beliefs. Instead of weakening her faith, that pressure made her more confident and outspoken.

Brandi actively debated theology, defended the Restoration, and gave Book of Mormons to friends and teachers—believing she was sharing something life-changing.

BYU and the pressure to marry

At BYU Provo, the urgency intensified. Brandi describes the dating culture as competitive and...