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In This Episode

Meet Brad Beeler — retired U.S. Secret Service Special Agent and the longest-tenured polygraph examiner in agency history. Over 25 years, Brad conducted more criminal polygraph examinations than anyone in Secret Service history, trained thousands of federal agents, and worked at the intersection of influence, deception detection, and human connection. He’s the author of Tell Me Everything: A Secret Service Agent’s Blueprint for Building Trust, Uncovering Truths, and Mastering Every Conversation. In this conversation, we explore what really builds trust, why most of us are awful at spotting lies, and how to communicate with calm presence — in leadership, sales, negotiations, parenting, and everyday life.

Big Ideas

🧪 We’re bad at lie detection: most people score close to a coin-flip (about ~54%) when judging truth vs fiction — confidence isn’t competence.

🫱 The perfect handshake: dry + warm hand, approach at ~45°, brief one-second hold, natural eye contact, slightly lower vocal tone — signals safety and confidence.

🧠 First impressions = survival brain: show hands, soft eyes, congruent body language, eyebrow flash/head tilt; avoid triggering fight/flight to build rapport.

📈 Polygraph as triage tool: like a mammogram — not the verdict, but a way to shape investigations when used at the right time with the right person.

🎧 Lyrics, soundtrack, dance: words (lyrics) matter less than tone (soundtrack) and body language (dance); presence turns communication into “Dolby surround.”

🧩 Spotting dishonesty: look for delay, “truth sandwiches” (answering around the question), L-Y qualifiers (“usually,” “typically”), and verbal–nonverbal incongruence.

🧍‍♂️ Position before submission (BJJ → comms): stop chasing hacks; master foundations — first impressions, active listening, tactical empathy.

🗣️ Active listening > “Me too”: let people bathe in their topic; ask educated follow-ups; earn reciprocity later.

🙅‍♂️ Non-judgment zones: privacy + non-judgment (think confessional/clinic) lower cortisol and invite truth.

📵 Presence is a superpower: put the phone away; attention is the rarest gift in relationships, parenting, and leadership.

🧪 Red-teaming life: pressure-test plans/scripts with trusted peers; iterate with feedback.

🧘 Taming nerves: vocal warmups, tea with honey, menthol lozenges, (for some) beta blockers under medical advice — treat your voice like your primary de-escalation tool.

👨‍👩‍👧 Parenting teens: hate the “sin,” not the “sinner”; keep the relationship safe so kids call you when it matters.

🌐 Algorithms & extremes: outrage travels; stay out of echo chambers, seek facts, and hold the middle with empathy.

📚 The book arc: a soup-to-nuts blueprint — from preparation and first contact to handling dishonesty ethically.

Connect with Brad Beeler

Website: https://bradleybeeler.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bradbeeler1865

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bradbeeler1865

Book (Tell Me Everything): https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Tell-Me-Everything/Brad-Beeler/9781637748428

I’d love you to check out my new book, ⁠Start With Values⁠ (https://values.institute/start-with-values-book/). It’s packed full of tools to help you lead a life that is aligned with your core values, reducing stress and increasing fulfillment. Connect with me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/bradhook.

In This Episode

Welcome to a deep, clarifying conversation with Dr. John Demartini—human behavior expert, researcher, prolific author, and global educator whose work spans corporate performance, financial empowerment, leadership, relationships, and social transformation (https://drdemartini.com). We explore how to govern the mind, transform polarized emotion into executive function, and turn so-called “trauma” into growth. You’ll hear unforgettable stories—from martial arts lessons in poise to real-world reframes that dissolve shame, guilt, and fear into grounded action and gratitude. 🌊🧠

Big Ideas

🧠 The ungoverned mind: amygdala reactivity vs. executive function—why System 1 “feels” before thinking and System 2 “reasons” before reacting.

🥋 “Invitation to dance”: the martial arts metaphor for foresight—training the prefrontal cortex to anticipate, plan, and respond without panic.

⚖️ Sequential vs. simultaneous contrast: see both sides at once to act with poise rather than react with impulse.

🔥 “Passion” means “to suffer”: why fantasy-driven desire (pursue-only or avoid-only) creates misery—and how an inspired mission resolves it.

🎯 Mastery ≠ talent: disciplined practice over decades (think concert pianists and elite athletes) builds automatic executive control.

🧭 Values alignment: stop living in the shadows of outer authorities; define your hierarchy of values and build a life around what truly matters to you.

🪞 Moral hypocrisies: the myth of the one-sided person; perfection is the whole—both sides, integrated and loved.

❤️ Unconditionality in real life: you want to be loved when you’re kind and when you’re difficult; others want the same.

🌀 Peace/war dynamics: feedback systems balance praise/criticism, calm/conflict—personally, relationally, and societally.

🩹 “There is no trauma, only perception”: rigorous reframing turns post-traumatic stress into post-traumatic growth (with vivid case studies).

🧩 Perception → decision → action: change the story, change the trajectory; seek the information you’re missing.

🛰️ Staying grounded in an AI-accelerated world: whenever you perceive one side, find the opposite—and you’ll return to center.

Connect with Dr. John Demartini

Website: https://drdemartini.com

Free Values Determination: https://drdemartini.com/values/

The Breakthrough Experience: https://drdemartini.com/breakthrough-experience

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjohndemartini/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drjohndemartini/

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies your freedom to choose. In this video I teach my new S.P.A.C.E. method—Stop, Pay attention, Align, Commit, Energize—a simple, research-aligned way to bring your values into high-pressure moments. It takes under two minutes to use and can change the way you navigate stress, conflict, and decision-making.What you’ll learn:You’ll understand why the brain defaults to speed over wisdom under stress, how one breath changes the “brain you’re using,” and how to translate your core values into immediate, practical action—then refuel your system so you can do it again tomorrow.Try it today:Stop (one slow inhale, longer exhale) → Pay attention (name the thoughts & feelings) → Align (pick one top value) → Commit (one action within your control) → Energize (quick reset: breath, light, movement, or connection).Get your free Values Assessment (new)Unlock your AI-powered values profile, top 3 values, archetype, motivation style, and decision tool:👉 https://values.institute/values-app/Read the full guide:👉 https://values.institute/the-s-p-a-c-e-method-using-your-values-when-it-matters-most/Research mentioned:– Slow/controlled breathing improves anxiety and HRV: Zaccaro et al., Frontiers in Human Neuroscience (2018).– Cyclic sighing (extended exhale) boosts mood & autonomic balance vs. mindfulness: Balban et al., Cell Reports Medicine (2023).– Naming emotions reduces amygdala reactivity (affect labeling): Lieberman et al., Science (2007).– Values affirmations buffer stress & improve persistence: Cohen & Sherman, Annual Review of Psychology (2014).– Stress-is-enhancing mindset effects: Crum, Salovey & Achor, JEP: General (2013).– Evening blue light suppresses melatonin/delays circadian timing: Cajochen et al. (2005); Chang et al., PNAS (2015).– ACT evidence for psychological flexibility & committed action: A-Tjak et al., Behaviour Research and Therapy (2015); Twohig & Levin, Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science (2017).About me:I’m Brad Hook—author of Start With Values, founder of the Values Institute, and Head of the Resilience Lab at Resilience Institute. I teach practical, evidence-based tools to help people and teams live with coherence, calm, and meaningful performance.Work with me / resources:Speaking & workshops: https://bradleyhook.comIf this helped, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it this week, and tell me in the comments which value you’ll use first.