Welcome to a special episode of BluePrints, where we invite back Elizabeth Orthmann, LMFT, to explore how parents can instill a heart of gratitude in their children, counteracting entitlement and fostering a positive outlook.

THE BIG IDEA:

gratitude is a critical and transformative attribute that parents should cultivate in their children to counteract entitlement and promote a positive and abundant outlook on life.

Part 1. (00:00-23:15)

1. Understanding Gratitude:
   • Elizabeth discusses the common misconceptions about gratitude and entitlement in children. She emphasizes that gratitude is not merely about being polite but about recognizing and appreciating what others have contributed to one's life.
   • Timestamp: (06:00) - Elizabeth addresses the clinical perspective on gratitude vs. entitlement.
2. Challenges in Cultivating Gratitude:
   • Discussion on the natural developmental stages of children where self-focus is necessary for survival, transitioning to recognizing the needs and contributions of others as they grow.
   • Timestamp: (09:00) - Explanation of how entitlement can be a misinterpreted drive in children.
3. Practical Steps for Fostering Gratitude:
   • Suggestions include storytelling, regular reflections on daily blessings, and involving children in community services to broaden their perspectives and empathy towards others.
   • Timestamp: (18:00) - Elizabeth and hosts discuss practical activities to practice gratitude.

Part 2. (23:40-43:23)

4. Children Who Have Been Traumatized and How They Interpret Gratitude.
- How a child thinks about gratitude when they don't have a lot. (32:20)

5. Building Practices of Gratitude with Kids
- evening meal, bedtime, rose, bud, thorn. (37:50)

Favorite Quotes from This Episode:

• "Gratitude transforms how we see ourselves and the world around us. It shifts focus from 'me' to 'we.'"
• "Every little expression of thankfulness, no matter how small, contributes to a larger sense of happiness and fulfillment."

Resources:
www.gracebasedfamilies.com
https://storytellerstherapy.com/ (Elizabeth's LMFT practice)

Welcome to this episode of Blueprints! In this episode, Cody and Greg introduce the concept of humility, a trait often overlooked in a society that may reward the opposite and they hear from Dr Tim Kimmel on how to cultivate humility in the heart of a child.

The Goal:

• Explore how cultivating humility can significantly affect personal growth and family relationships.
• Discuss practical steps for parents to instill this quality in their children, making it a foundational aspect of their character.

Common Misconception:

• There's a prevalent misconception that humility involves self-deprecation or a lower self-esteem. However, true humility is about recognizing one's own place in the context of God’s creation and others, maintaining a realistic view of one’s strengths and weaknesses.

Understanding True Humility:

• Humility as an honest assessment of one's abilities and limitations in the light of God’s greatness and the contributions of others.
• The importance of humility in developing other virtues, like wisdom, which is crucial for making sound decisions and fostering healthy relationships.

Hear It, Don’t Defend It:

• The hosts emphasize the value of modeling humility through personal examples and daily interactions within the family.
• Discussion on how parents can demonstrate humility by admitting their own mistakes and being open to learning from their children.

Encourage Regular Practice of Humility and Look for Growth Opportunities:

• Suggestions on incorporating humility into family life, such as serving others together and celebrating successes without boasting.
• How to teach children to appreciate their achievements and talents without diminishing others.

Favorite Quotes from This Episode:

• "If we want our children to be wise, we need them to first be humble." – Greg Lunsford

Key Points Takeaways:

• Humility as a gateway to wisdom and deeper relationships.
• The benefits of humility extend beyond personal growth to include enhanced family dynamics.
• How humility fosters a learning environment conducive to both parental and child development.

Conclusion:

• Cody and Greg wrap up the discussion by reinforcing the necessity of humility in raising extraordinary kids.
• They encourage parents to seek wisdom through humility, creating a family culture that values each member's growth and contribution.

Learn more at: www.GraceBasedFamilies.com

Produced by: The fine folks at Gum Audio www.gumaudio.com

Welcome to this episode of Blueprints! Today's episodes focus is on developing courage in children, particularly in challenging social situations.

Question from Carl in Cleveland: (5:00)

"My daughter (12) is seeing a kid at her school get bullied. She wants to stand up for her but is worried that other kids will make fun of her. I think in her heart she knows the right thing to do, but it's overwhelming for her. How can I help her give her courage to stand up for others, while also navigate the social dynamics of being a middle school kid?

The Goal: Equip kids with the courage to make ethical decisions, emphasizing the importance of doing the right thing for the right reasons, rooted in biblical values.

The Big Idea: "Courage isn't just about facing fears but about embracing the right actions for the right reasons." – Cody Kimmel

Parenting is not just about teaching rule-following but fostering an environment where kids feel empowered to make morally right decisions, even when they are difficult.

Biblical Inspiration: Courage as demonstrated by biblical figures, including Jesus and the prophets, who showed that true courage is as much about faithfulness to God’s commands as it is about bravery.

Behavior ≠ Identity: True courage involves understanding and embracing the moral reasons behind actions, not just the actions themselves. This means standing up for what is right, even if it is unpopular or challenging.

Examples from Scripture: Jesus in the wilderness, facing temptations but choosing to honor God over easy wins, shows the deep love for the long-term good that comes from doing the right thing.

What’s at Stake: Overreacting to Fear: Can lead kids to avoid taking stands on important issues, resulting in missed opportunities to bring goodness into the world.

Underreacting to Courage Opportunities: Fails to foster a culture of bravery and righteousness that the world desperately needs.

The Goal of Parenting: To nurture kids who are not only brave but also understand the deep value and goodness of God’s guidance in making tough choices.

4 Practical Steps for Helping Kids Navigate Courageous Decisions:

1. Respond, Don’t React: Encourage kids to take courageous steps by discussing potential scenarios and role-playing responses.

2. Separate Identity from Behavior: Reinforce that a child’s worth is not tied to their social standing but to their character and integrity.

3. Empathize and Understand: Listen to your child’s fears about standing up for others, affirming that their concerns are valid and understandable.

4. Focus on Training Over Criticism: Teach kids why courage is valuable and how it reflects God’s character. Discuss biblical heroes who were courageous and the positive outcomes of their actions.

5. Balance Grace and Accountability: Support kids in courageous actions by showing them that doing the right thing, even when hard, is part of living a fulfilling and God-honoring life.

Learn more at: www.GraceBasedFamilies.com

Produced by: The fine folks at Gum Audio