With three points from across the border, NYCFC keeps finding just enough to live. Your boys in blue break down the election-weekend win in Canada, including a faceoff with club legend Sean Johnson, penalty provocations, back line legends, our May-December midfield, and much much more. Plus: it’s official, Aiden O’Neill busts our Aussie cherry. And: a treatise on Soccer and the Global Economy. Finally: a precap of Cincy vs the City. Don’t blow too hard on that didgeridoo — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Grim times at the Blue Balls HQ this week as Jake & Trey break down the 0-2 loss against New England's bottom-scraping Revolution. Morale is at an all time low, even as Moralez minutes are at an all-time high! We talk the return of Tayvon, a truly senseless Starting XI, the toothlessness of the attack, and log into the chat as Thiago Martins defenders. PLUS: royal-watching the meme-queens on r/mls, a little pope-scoping, and some David Lee prognostications as the transfer window draws to a close. AND: a quick n' dirty Toronto precap. Wallahi, better prep for this weekend — mans got Blue Balls.

We're wringing out our souvenir hats and wiping our shoes on the 7 train as we recap some GOOD news at long last. A 1-0 win against Philadelphia had a redeeming effect on NYCFC's morale and your boys in blue are here to predict whether the weather will stay or pass. We map the midfield action from the Parks to the Shore, Martinez's massive mid-speed shot after Mitja's missile, and the defensive discipline that allowed it to all come together. Plus: we steal talking points from our other favorite publications and do a halfhearted precap of the very same New England Revs we faced just a few weeks ago. Change into some dry socks — you've got Blue Balls.