Being Too Picky (Early On) Doesn't Exist

After a year away from dating while building two businesses and rebranding a podcast, Krysta jumped back into the apps with fresh energy and clearer standards. What followed were two first dates that taught more about trusting your gut than any relationship ever could. When a guy texted "I'll let you decide where we sit" after failing to secure a spot at the bar he knew about in advance, she clocked the red flag but stayed for the drink anyway. What happened next—and the date that followed with someone else—revealed something crucial about standards, nervous system regulation, and why "being too picky" early on is actually just paying attention.

In this episode we dive into:

• Why your married friends might be giving you terrible dating advice (and what they're missing about modern dating)

• The exact moment your gut is screaming at you—and why being in a rush makes you ignore it

• How the standards you accept on a first date show up everywhere else in your life

• The nervous system regulation technique that helps you make aligned decisions in dating, food choices, and business

When Your Gut Starts Screaming (But You're Too Rushed to Listen)

• You're running late, texting fast, physically hurrying—and simultaneously asking friends "should I feel some type of way about this?"

• The same energy that makes you ignore fullness cues or push through obvious burnout is what keeps you walking toward a date your intuition is rejecting

• Your grandmother's five-minute rule before getting seconds applies to every decision: pause, breathe, drop your shoulders, plant your feet, and regulate before you decide

• When you're in fight-or-flight while texting, you override the exact instinct that would protect you from wasting your evening

The "Let You Decide" Text That Changed Everything

• He asks you to text when you're two minutes away, then admits he's been waiting in his car instead of securing a table at the crowded bar you picked (at his request)

• "I'll let you decide where we sit" immediately pushes you out of feminine energy and into masculine—you've now planned the date, picked the spot, AND have to find the table

• This is information, not overthinking: if this is his best foot forward on a first date, what does month three look like?

• The universe has your back—people will see themselves out without you needing to explicitly call them out (spoiler: he did)

What Your Married Friends Get Wrong About "Being Too Picky"

• When married people say "I could never date today," they think they're validating your strength but they're actually making dating feel like a punishment you have to endure

• Every person who voted "think nothing of it and enjoy the date" was married—and when pressed, admitted they'd been out of the game for 10+ years

• Leading with the assumption that dating is bad guarantees bad dating experiences—your words are spells, and you're casting the wrong ones

• A "bad date" is actually a win because it gets you clearer on what you don't want, and removing yourself quickly is how you weed through to what you do want

This conversation reminds us that standards aren't pickiness—they're self-trust in action. Whether you're navigating dating apps, deciding if you're actually still hungry, or evaluating a potential business partnership, the ability to pause and regulate your nervous system before making decisions is what separates aligned choices from rushed reactions. The person you're meant to build a life with won't make you question your gut on date one.

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