"I love you… now go away." That's the kind of chaos disorganized attachment creates. It's not drama or manipulation. It's deep inner turmoil that makes love feel dangerous and safety hard to trust. In this episode, Dr. Greg explores how childhood wounds shape these push-pull patterns, why closeness can feel threatening even when love is real, and how disorganized attachment helps make sense of borderline personality patterns.

Key Topics:

• Why someone can put you on a pedestal one day and tear you down the next
• How childhood wounds create push-pull patterns that feel impossible to escape
• Why closeness can feel like a threat, even when love is real
• How disorganized attachment helps explain borderline personality patterns
• Why these patterns are rooted in inner turmoil, not simple manipulation
• How healing begins by making sense of the chaos instead of being swallowed by it

Learn More:

• Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation
• Previous episode on attachment theory:
  • Ep. #63: Attachment Theory: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How It Affects Your Relationships
• Previous episode in this series on the Borderline Defense Patterns:
  • Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation
• Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns:
  • Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing
• Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns:
  • Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary
• Stop Walking on Eggshells – A guide for navigating relationships affected by borderline personality patterns
• Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment

Borderline personality patterns are often misunderstood and mislabeled—but beneath the surface is a painful struggle shaped by identity instability, emotional overwhelm, and the exhausting push–pull between fearing abandonment and fearing annihilation. In this episode, Dr. Greg brings clarity and compassion to this pattern, offering language and hope for anyone who recognizes these dynamics in themselves or in someone they love.

Key Topics:

• Why borderline patterns are so often misunderstood
• The exhausting push–pull between fearing abandonment and fearing annihilation
• How identity instability fuels intense relationship dynamics
• Why emotions can feel overwhelming and all-consuming
• Why conflict and drama can start to feel like proof of connection
• How integration and truth open the path toward healing

Learn More:

• Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation
• Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Pattern:
  • Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing
• Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Pattern:
  • Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary
• Stop Walking on Eggshells – A guide for navigating relationships affected by borderline personality patterns
• Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment

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Even if you're Christian — even if your spouse is a genuinely good person — you can still feel deeply unfulfilled. In this episode, Dr. Greg explores how asking another person to carry your identity, security, and worth turns love into survival — and leaves both people depleted.

Key Topics:

• How misplaced dependence slowly erodes love
• Why identity collapses when relationships become sources of self-worth
• The difference between free self-gift and anxious attachment
• How to properly order your love

Learn More:

• Pilgrimage to Poland - Learn more about this interior journey with St. John Paul II
• Summit of Integration 2026 - Sign up to learn more about this year's event!
• Healing Retreat in Wyoming - Learn more about our upcoming retreat experience.
• Being Human episodes on the Dependent Defense Pattern:
  • Ep. #267: Not All Satisfaction Is Good: Understanding Codependency As Relationship Cancer
  • Ep. #266: You're Giving Too Much! Uncovering How Anxiety Disguises Itself as Holiness
  • Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing
• Gaudium et Spes - Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World by Pope Paul VI
• Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation
• Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment

Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn