Content Warning - This episode includes discussion of:

• Experiences of being misunderstood, shamed, or corrected for communication differences
• Neurodivergent masking and social challenges
• Workplace and school-based communication difficulties

Please take care while listening and pause if needed.

Summary: In this episode, Bri sits down with AuDHD speech pathologist Cammy to explore the nuanced, often overlooked world of communication preferences in AuDHDers. Together, they unpack how communication is far more than just “talking and understanding”, it includes how we tell stories, ask for help, process language, use tone, and navigate relationships.

Cammy shares insights from both her lived experience and clinical work, highlighting how many AuDHDers have been misunderstood or even shamed for the way they communicate. The conversation dives into directness, sensitivity, scripting, and the push-pull of AuDHD traits, while emphasising that communication is dynamic, relational, and deeply personal.

They also explore the importance of self-awareness, collaboration, and accommodations, from communication profiles to visual supports, and how both neurodivergent people and their environments share responsibility in creating understanding.

Ultimately, this episode is an invitation to move away from “fixing” communication, and toward honouring, understanding, and supporting it.

Key Takeaways:

• Communication is more than speech. It includes storytelling style, tone, pacing, literal vs non-literal language, help-seeking, and more.
• There is no “right” way to communicate. Differences are neutral. What matters is understanding and supporting them, not correcting them.
• Directness and sensitivity can co-exist. Many AuDHD people are both direct and deeply sensitive, which can create relational tension that needs open conversation.
• Relationships are the foundation. Communication works best when there is reciprocity, repair, and ongoing dialogue about what works for each person.
• Scripting is a valid and helpful tool. It can act as a starting point - “copy, paste, then personalise” - rather than something rigid or inauthentic.
• Self-awareness comes first. Clinicians (and everyone!) need to understand their own communication preferences before supporting others.
• Accommodations support authentic communication. Tools like communication profiles, visual supports, and environmental adjustments help people communicate the way they want to.
• AuDHDers shouldn’t carry all the load. Communication is a shared responsibility. Environments, clinicians, teachers, and peers all play a role.
• If in doubt… ask. The most powerful (and often underused) tool: ask the person about their communication preferences.

You can get in touch with Cammy via email at cammy@letstalksp.com.au and over Instagram at @lets.talkneurodiversity.

Content Warning:

This episode discusses chronic illness, medical gaslighting, healthcare discrimination, trauma within healthcare systems, and brief references to medical neglect and historical misogyny in medicine. Listener discretion is advised.

Summary:

In this episode of AuDHD IRL, Bri sits down with provisional psychologist Nina Buchborn, who shares her lived experience of AuDHD alongside chronic, invisible illnesses. Nina’s thesis explored medical gaslighting in the healthcare experiences of neurodivergent women with chronic pain, and this conversation dives into the deeply personal and systemic issues behind that research.

Together, Bri and Nina unpack the complex intersection between autism, ADHD, connective tissue disorders, dysautonomia, MCAS, chronic pain, fatigue, and more, and why so many people who are autistic and/or ADHD experience multiple health conditions at once. They discuss how these conditions are frequently misunderstood or dismissed in healthcare settings, particularly for women and gender-diverse people.

Nina shares stories from her own life and research participants about the impact of medical gaslighting, the emotional toll of being repeatedly dismissed by doctors, and the hidden reality of living with invisible illness. The conversation also explores the concept of masking on steroids, where Autistic people and ADHDers' masking overlaps with the pressure to appear well despite chronic illness.

Alongside the challenges, this episode also offers practical insights into self-advocacy in healthcare, navigating complex medical systems, and learning to trust your own body and experiences.

Takeaways:

1. Autism/ADHD and chronic illness often overlap.Emerging research suggests a strong connection between autism/ADHD and conditions such as connective tissue disorders, dysautonomia (including POTS), MCAS, and chronic pain. These links are increasingly recognised but still poorly understood in mainstream medicine.

2. Medical gaslighting is a systemic issue.Many people, particularly women and autistic/ADHD individuals, report their symptoms being dismissed as anxiety, stress, or exaggeration. This can delay diagnosis for years or decades.

3. Invisible illness creates layers of masking.People with chronic conditions often feel pressure to appear “well” in social and medical settings. For autistic/ADHD individuals, this can mean masking both their neurodivergence and their physical illness at the same time.

4. Chronic illness often involves grief.Losing access to activities, work, social life, and identity can bring significant grief. Validating this emotional experience is an important part of both psychological care and personal healing.

5. Self-advocacy in healthcare matters.Navigating the healthcare system can be exhausting, but asking questions, seeking second opinions, bringing support people to appointments, and requesting documentation can help patients advocate for themselves.

6. Trust your body.If something feels wrong, it deserves attention. Nina encourages listeners to trust their own bodily experiences and keep searching for answers and support.

7. Kindness toward yourself is essential.Living with chronic illness means adjusting expectations and recognising limits. Self-compassion is a crucial part of navigating health challenges.

Summary:

Dive into a lively conversation about how AuDHD, identity, and self-expression intertwine through hair, fashion, and everyday choices. Charlotte (a hairdresser) and Bri explore how embracing our differences can foster confidence, control, and community. They discuss how being proud of our differences and showing it on the outside can signal safety to others. They also discuss parenting AuDHDers who want to experiment with their looks, how experimenting with looks can be regulating, and how being in control of something like your hairstyle can help with transitions and change. Charlotte also shares what it's like to give someone their first ever haircut, and gives advice to those who are nervous to get a cut.

Takeaways:

• AuDHD and Self-Expression: Embracing your AuDHD identity can significantly influence personal style and self-image, allowing individuals to express their identity authentically.
• Dopamine Dressing: This concept highlights the joy and confidence that come from wearing clothes that stimulate positive emotions.
• Creating Safe Spaces: It's crucial to provide environments where AuDHD individuals, especially children and teens, can express themselves freely and feel understood.
• Practical Accommodations: Offering tailored experiences, such as sensory-friendly haircuts, can make a significant difference for autistic or ADHD clients.
• Autonomy and Identity: Encouraging autonomy in style choices helps reinforce a sense of control and self-acceptance, fostering a positive self-image.

You can find Charlotte on Instagram at @charlotte_thehairstylist, or through @brushnbroom.