This is the third episode of our three-part series on navigating hygiene with your PDA child or teen. (Pathological Demand Avoidance/Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)

In this episode, I talk through practical strategies to support a PDA child or teen with the following:

1. Bathing and Showering
2. Hair Washing
3. Hair Brushing
4. Nail Clipping
5. Hand Washing
6. Getting Dressed

I also discuss the logic of why accessing hygiene is difficult of some PDA children and teens, help you prioritize which hygiene practices *actually* matter to health and well-being and which you may be able to let go, and provide tons of examples of how to use accommodations such as:

1. Lowering demands
2. Autonomy
3. Equality
4. Novelty

I hope this episode lowers your stress level as a parent and gives you creative ideas to experiment with as you provide caregiving to your PDA child or teen!

xo,

Casey

PS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

Mentioned in this episode:

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This is the second episode in our three-part series on hygiene and PDA. In this episode we deep dive on helping your PDA child or teen go to the dentist and brush their teeth.

Specifically, we support parents (and therapists) to understand:

1. Why teeth brushing and going to the dentist are so difficult for PDA children and teens
2. Practical tips they can use to help a PDA child or teen access teeth brushing
3. Specific examples of how to use autonomy, equality, lowered demands, novelty, and humor to support a PDA child or teen's teeth brushing
4. Strategies and example scripts to use when speaking to the dentist or dental hygienist before your child or teen goes to their next appointment.

I hope you find it helpful!

xo,

Casey

PS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

This is the first of three episodes about hygiene and Pathological Demand Avoidance.

In this episode I focused on how to think about PDA and hygiene struggles, and understanding the root cause of struggles around:

1. Teeth brushing
2. Going to the dentist
3. Showering and bathing
4. Hair washing
5. Hand washing
6. Nail clipping
7. Hair cutting
8. Getting dressed

More specifically, in this episode I talk through:

1. The Deep Why behind hygiene struggles
2. Sensory vs. Autonomy as a root cause of avoidance
3. The cumulative nature of PDA and control coalescing around a basic need (in this case hygiene)
4. Discernment - Asking yourself the right questions about burnout and whether hygiene is the "stickiest" basic need for your child or teen.
5. Decision-making around boundaries before we worry about accommodations

I hope you find the show helpful. I'll release two more episodes on hygiene soon!

xo,

Casey

PS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I coach a mom of a 10-year-old PDAer who is in burnout (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). The child loves to cook and bake but has a meltdown if family members clean up after her while she’s in the kitchen.

She also melts down if others pass by her bedroom on the way to their own, which her mom has to do if she’s going to clean the kitchen after her daughter leaves.

We talked through if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was also present, but decided to focus on working through the PDA lens.

We then used our decision making framework to determine how the mother could manage their bedtime routine in a way that would be more pleasant for everyone.

I hope you find the conversations helpful. It's from Parenting PDA Your Way, the show we stream live on our social media on Fridays at 1pm ET.

xo,

Casey

PS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens.

This is the second of two episodes in which Donna and I discussed this topic. In the first episode we covered five of her tips, and in this episode we cover five more.

Here they are:

1. Reflect on success
2. Normalize discomfort and fear
3. Let go of future fears
4. Pause social media as needed
5. Breathe -- you're doing great!

I hope you find our conversation helpful!

PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode I talk with our coach Donna Georgen - parent of PDA 28- and 21-year-olds - about her top tips for parenting PDA teens.

We cover five of her tips in this episode and will release another episode soon with five more.

Here's the first five:

1. Try to keep autonomy and equality at the forefront
2. Shift from parent to mentor-friend
3. Be vulnerable and transparent
4. Release the pressure to figure it all out
5. Redefine regression

I hope you find our conversation helpful!

PS - Want to work with Donna to move your family forward? She offers private coaching that you can learn all about here.

In this episode Clinical Psychologist Dr. Alex Klein and I discuss ten common misconceptions about Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.

Here are five from Dr. Klein:

1. The parent of a PDAer is doing something wrong, especially if they've lowered demands.
2. If a PDA child did something yesterday, they can do it again today.
3. Accommodations won’t prepare PDA kids for the real world.
4. Progress made by a PDA child is measured by what we see on the surface.
5. Behaviorism (behavioral parenting) will be enough.

And here are five from me, in strong collaboration with my PDA 11- and 7-year-olds:

1. PDA kids are bad kids.
2. How much freedom PDA kids need.
3. It's not behavioral, it's stress.
4. Why and when they can hide nervous system stress.
5. Potatoes are green and they smell like poop :)

I hope the episode is helpful to you!

xo,

Casey

PS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.

This episode is for parents who are interested in toilet training in a PDA-informed way.

This the third episode in my three-part series on toileting and Pathological Demand Avoidance.

In this episode I cover toilet/potty training with your PDA child or teen. Specifically, I cover the following:

1. Is my child or teen in a good place for toilet training?
2. Story of toilet training my older son before I knew of PDA, and why I think it still worked (spoiler - we intuitively did a lot of accommodating).
3. 10 tips for if and when you decide to toilet train your PDA child or teen.

I hope this is helpful for you and your family.

xoxo,

Casey

PS - New to PDA? You can take our free 6-minute quiz to learn how well your child or teen fits the profile.