Are You Trying to Be Interesting or Interested?

In this episode, Josh and John take a second pass at one of leadership’s most defining skills — communication. Moving beyond what we say to how and why we say it, they explore the motives, tendencies, and patterns that shape our words and impact our teams. Through real examples and archetypes, they help listeners identify what drives their communication habits and how self-awareness transforms connection and clarity.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Motives and tendencies: Awareness doesn’t erase them, but it helps leaders recognize and redirect them.

• Patterns and behavior: You can’t always change your wiring, but you can change your actions.

• Communication archetypes: The visionary, the perfectionist, and the over-talker — and what they reveal about leadership motives.

• Transmission and receiving: Great communication is both speaking and listening with intention.

• Be interested, not interesting: Curiosity builds trust more than charisma ever will.

Memorable Quotes or Moments

• “Are you trying to be more interesting or more interested?”

• “Your motives aren’t going anywhere — but your patterns can change.”

• “You can’t delegate responsibility and still hold all the authority.”

• “Communication equals transmission plus receiving.”

Homework / Reflection

Take ten minutes this week to reflect — and write it down.

1. Name one behavior you notice in the way you communicate (talking over, holding back, over-explaining, etc.).

2. Ask yourself why: What’s the motive beneath it? What are you afraid of, avoiding, or trying to prove?

3. Get feedback: Ask one trusted colleague or friend to describe how they experience your communication.

4. Set an intention: Choose one way to practice being more interested than interesting in your next conversation.