For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Anger in a relationship doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship. But without the right tools, the same arguments keep happening, the same damage keeps building — and eventually, something breaks. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares four practical things you can start doing this week to change the way anger shows up in your relationship.

In this solo episode, Alastair walks you through four key areas, from understanding your triggers to remembering you and your partner are on the same team, giving you a clear, actionable roadmap for lasting change.

Key Takeaways:

1. Understanding your anger triggers is the foundation. But without knowing what sets you off, those triggers run the show without you
2. Talking openly about issues before they build is the difference between a conversation and an explosion. A weekly relationship check-in is a simple tool that makes this possible
3. Stress and anger are directly linked. Managing your stress levels outside the relationship directly reduces conflict inside it
4. Most arguments feel like battles because we're trying to win. Shifting from "convince" to "understand" is where real resolution lives
5. Both people in a conflict have valid perspectives. Seeking to understand your partner's view almost always leads them to seek yours in return.

If anger has been damaging your relationship, this episode gives you four clear places to start, and the perspective to make them stick.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You're in the middle of an argument with your partner. Your heart is racing, things are escalating and you can feel it heading somewhere neither of you wants to go. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces one of the most important relationship skills you've probably never been taught - relationship repair.

In this solo episode, Alastair breaks down exactly what relationship repair is, why it matters and how to use it in the heat of the moment to stop conflict before it does lasting damage to your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

1. Relationship repair (a concept developed by Dr. John Gottman) is the ability to recognise when an argument is escalating and take steps to redirect it before real damage is done
2. The first skill is awareness: tuning into your own physical and emotional signals before things spiral
3. Reminding yourself that your relationship matters more than the argument is a mindset shift that changes everything
4. Repair attempts - a soft tone, an I-statement, a request for a break, even humour or a touch - can turn a conflict around in seconds
5. Accepting your partner's repair attempts is just as important as making your own
6. The goal isn't to never disagree. It's to disagree in a way that doesn't damage what you've built together

If conflict in your relationship keeps escalating further than it should, this episode gives you the tools to change that, starting with your very next argument.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever completely lost it over something small, a dish in the sink or a towel on the floor, and then felt embarrassed afterward because you knew, deep down, it wasn't really about the dish? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why small things trigger such big reactions, and what you can do to stop it.

In this solo episode, Alastair walks you through the real reasons minor irritations escalate into major explosions and shares three practical tools to help you let go of the small stuff before it damages your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

1. Small triggers are rarely the real issue. They're usually the outlet for unspoken frustrations or unmet needs building underneath
2. An overdeveloped need for control can make minor disruptions feel catastrophic
3. Pausing before you respond, even for just a breath or two, creates the gap where self-control lives
4. Asking "will this matter in a year?" is a simple but powerful way to regain perspective in the moment
5. Practising gratitude regularly builds resilience and shrinks the power of daily irritations
6. Knowing what truly matters in life makes it easier to release what doesn't

If small things are costing you big arguments, this episode gives you the perspective shift and practical tools to start changing that today.

Links referenced in this episode:

-angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

-angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle

-angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System