In this heartfelt and inspiring episode, I sit down with Fraida Shusterman—Orthodox Jewish mother of 11 and a woman of remarkable perspective and strength. Fraida shares her family's journey, including raising a child with Rett syndrome, and how focusing on gratitude, resilience, and proactive growth has shaped her outlook on life.

Drawing from Jewish wisdom, Kabbalah, and her lived experience, Fraida discusses the critical role of parenting in preserving Jewish values, how to raise children who can navigate life's challenges, and why rituals, traditions, and a sense of higher purpose are essential for emotional stability and meaning.

This conversation is a reminder that challenges are not endpoints—they are invitations to build, to deepen our connection to God, and to live with greater purpose and joy.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How Fraida and her family embrace gratitude even amid life's toughest challenges
• The concept from Kabbalah of looking forward and being proactive during hardship
• The Jewish approach to parenting and the three core life skills parents must teach:
  • How to "swim" through life's waters
  • Learning a trade or skill
  • Preparing for marriage and emotional maturity
• Why modeling values is more powerful than preaching them
• Parenting each child according to their unique way ("Teach the child according to his way")
• How Jewish traditions and rituals create stability, belonging, and emotional resilience
• What it means to discipline from a soul-centered, Torah-based perspective
• How to maintain connection and faith when children choose different paths
• The importance of living every moment as a teaching opportunity through Torah values

Inspired by John Vervaeke’s Course “The Premise of Beauty” on Peterson Academy

In this deeply reflective solo episode, we dive into how our children’s mental health crisis is, at its root, a meaning crisis. Drawing on the insights of philosopher and cognitive scientist John Vervaeke, we explore how the loss of cultural depth, the dominance of the "having mode," and the narrowing of our ways of knowing have led to a disconnection from beauty, wisdom, and the sacred.

📉 The Crisis in Numbers

• 1 in 6 kids experience a mental health disorder annually
• Over 10% diagnosed with ADHD
• Self-harm ER visits among girls up 188%
• Suicide rates among adolescents skyrocketing

💡 Core Themes in This Episode

• Why our kids are not just overwhelmed, but existentially unanchored
• The cultural shift from communal belonging to isolated individualism
• How beauty, ritual, and depth have disappeared from our children's lives
• Erich Fromm’s distinction between having mode and being mode
• The 4 types of knowing (propositional, procedural, perspectival, and participatory) and why only focusing on facts leaves our kids empty

🌿 What Our Kids Need to Thrive

• Participation in meaningful activities (not just consumption)
• Flow states through free play, art, and creativity
• Rich relationships that require empathy and perspective-taking
• Rituals that help shape identity, values, and belonging
• Time to be—without screens, without rush, without outcomes

🌀 Reclaiming the Imaginal

• Why becoming, not just imagining, is where true growth happens
• How the “Solomon Effect” and third-person perspective build wisdom
• The role of sacrifice, struggle, and mystery in meaningful development

🧠 Why This Matters in the Age of AI

• AI excels at propositional knowing, but lacks imagination, perspective, and participation
• Our children’s humanity—wisdom, agency, creativity—must be cultivated, not downloaded

✨ Key Takeaways

• Mental health isn't just about treatment—it’s about reconnecting to meaning
• Rituals, beauty, flow, and play are not luxuries—they're necessities
• We must let our kids be in the world, not just consume it

💭 Final Message: Let your kids be kids. Let them experience awe, struggle, connection, and growth. Let them participate in life. That is how they will build identity, meaning, and strength to meet the future—with or without AI.

In this powerful episode, we explore why so many modern parents—especially in the millennial generation—feel like they’ve lost their authority. We unpack the cultural shifts that led us here: from authoritarian upbringings to the rise of therapeutic parenting, gentle approaches, and fear of judgment in a multicultural, morally relativistic society.

But have we gone too far?

We discuss how authority became synonymous with oppression, why permissiveness is not the solution, and how children actually thrive when there is clear, benevolent leadership in the home.

You’ll learn:

• The root causes of the "authority crisis" in modern parenting
• The consequences for kids: confusion, anxiety, identity struggles
• The impact on parents: guilt, doubt, and burnout
• How to reclaim your role as a loving leader in your family
• Practical steps to build a strong family culture, set boundaries with confidence, and raise grounded, resilient kids in a chaotic world

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

• Why gentle parenting sometimes goes too far
• How permissiveness undermines connection and safety
• What real, benevolent authority looks and feels like
• Creating a home culture with values, rituals, and roots
• How kids thrive with structure, guidance, and spiritual meaning
• Parenting in a society without shared moral foundations
• Why Israel offers a powerful cultural contrast to Western trends

👨‍👩‍👧 For Parents Who:

• Feel unsure about setting boundaries
• Struggle with mom/dad guilt or fear of being “too much”
• Want to raise emotionally intelligent and morally grounded kids
• Are ready to lead with both empathy and conviction

📌 Resources Mentioned:

• Reclaim Play by Avital Shrier Levi
• Hi Fam Studio Membership
• Hi Fam Podcast
• Hi Fam YouTube Channel
• Follow Avital on IG
• Related episodes: "You Won't Mess Up Your Kids" and How To Raise Kids To Find Meaning In a World That Lost Its Moral Compass

✨ Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear your thoughts!
💬 Join us in the Parenting Wisdom FB group send me an email to Efrat@efratamira.com to share your insights, aha moments, or questions.