Jennifer Love Hewitt is part of another doomed quartet of rising stars of the 90s getting terrorized by an omnipresent North Carolina fisherman out for even more justice because he still remembers what she did two summers ago. Brandy, Mehki Phifer and Matthew Settle join Julie James on the most convoluted all expenses paid trip from hell to the Bahamas while Freddie Prinze Jr does his own version of The Fugitive via bus, boat and time travel to try and save the day. Jennifer Esposito is an underutilized Nancy, Jack Black has dreads, and the entire staff of the hotel somehow get the worst end of the fish hook before Julie discovers why her new friend is named Will Benson….

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Alright Scary is back this month with a movie your parents probably rented in the 90s, “Malice”! Its ingredients alone make it a cut above the domestic thrillers of the era, with Nicole Kidman, Bill Pullman and Alec Baldwin in a triangle full of twists, a fourth billed Bebe Neuwirth doing her best Columbo, Ann Bancroft devouring an entire set without getting out of her chair, Jerry Goldsmith at his usual bombastic, Shirley Baker as a waitress, Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows, Blythe Danner’s daughter, nurse drag, a beautiful hairy chest and a final showdown in a blind kid’s bedroom.

We also get into some spooky and not so spooky recommendations and wrap things up by finally talking about this season of Dragula: Titans!

00:00 Malice

56:00 October Recommendations

01:07:27 Dragula

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It’s a jumble out there! The queens are turning challenge props from seasons past into, well, whatever they want. Viola gets strung out over the traitorous takes from a room full of Claudia Winklemans, and it only gets worse for her from there. Meanwhile Bones softens, Chai T gets lost between the cushions, Paige Three sends us on a necessary tangent on 90s Animal Movies, Pasty loses her balance, her shoe, and her shot at the crown and Sally hopefully gets the validation she needs that she really isn't too weird.

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The UK workroom is alive again with the sound of camp cows, Soho girls, Irish girls, indoor divas, the occasionally unclear pun name, both a violin and a nose flute, and a Gregg’s in a wig. The Pink Carpet sort-of challenge is essentially a version of Squid Game where you just hope to not get interviewed by Plane Jane, and the runway reminds us that this episode is just one big Meet the Queens. Despite some great music, the cow vote was kind of BS. Stay tuned for tangent on the trouble with UPS, plus some early lookalikes.

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Mostly seven but briefly eight queens make it through to a final lip sync battle for the crown and the cash. Kerri hosts the viewing party as Irene is teleported back to Mars, Sister Mary Aja does her little walk and Daya wagon wheel watusis away against her Seattle sister. Lydia puts her whole butthole into Shakira and Bosco attempts to raise her glass above Ginger’s outstretched arms, but this Weather Girls final lip sync was essentially forecasted. Despite Jorgeous’s reign as Mommy’s Favorite, after ten years and four tries it was finally time for a, well, former big girl to win.

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Before next week’s lip sync smackdown, we get this week’s lip sync smackdown in the form of a talent show! Will Aja jump from there? Will Lydia rely on cumbersome props to tell a bizarre story? Does anyone need to be reminded of the Pharmarusical? While everything comes up Ginger and Jorgeous has an intense reaction to turkey, Bosco’s pretty privilege earns her the win and Mistress is sent back to playing video games on YouTube by her own Butthole. (Unless of course Ross’s absentee ballot sways the wild card lottery away from her fellow Texas diva.)

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It’s time for the queens to come back eight months later and play the Snatch Game! Mistress ends up really taking it on the chin this week, as her Bracket 2 antics land about as poorly as her Natalie Nunn impression with the rest of the girls. Meanwhile Ginger doesn’t break a sweat as Reba and continues her winning streak (of Snatch Games and challenges this season), Aja’s cookie starts to crumble, Jorgeous puts on a bald cap and Cynthia’s Dracula is ironically slayed the week they have Buffy as a guest judge.

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Sometimes Dolores, being a bitch is all a drag queen has to hang on to. And this week, it’s what it takes to both win the heart and bone of that guy from “Fire Island” and win a spot in the semifinals. While Ginger aptly fetches her third win, Daya finally stops begging Alyssa for a point and retrieves the second spot in the top. Acid and Alyssa are destined for the pound, but it’s ultimately up to them to decide who gets rescued. Alas, being a queen’s best friend pays off for Cynthia while Denali is kept on the leash, despite good behavior, with hopes of getting adopted at the finale.

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