"How can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' while there is a wriggling bioluminescent parasitic worm attracting fish in your own eye?" At least, I'm pretty sure that's how that saying goes...

This week we carefully wade into the world of parasites, symbioses, child birth, and the general decimation of large populations. Fun, right? We did the math, and this episode should take far less time to listen to than extracting a guinea worm.

What's hairy, sneaks up on you and has 8 ... erm... sentences? Why, it's the description of this episode, of course!

Join us as we come to the realisation that we are really bad at estimating quantities while learning just how hungry spiders can get. We discuss why cities are paving the way for the spider apocalypse. There's a cooking segment. It's really got something for everybody.

Unless you're arachnophobic. Or a finch.

What do we want? Tim to make race car noises! When do we want it? Neoooow!

This episode is devoted to all things adrenaline filled: eating foie gras, driving into swamps (plural!!), amateur Ben-Hur remakes, booby traps, painting cane toads, racing while blind, racing while drunk.

Basically everything but Bathurst.

JJ also popped by to give us his side of the teddy bear haunting story from our Tattoos episode.

Intermission: excerpt from “Dance of the Hours” by Spike Jones (1967)

This week we are joined by a guest, Alison, who brings rather more civility to a discussion about poo than you'd expect from us. We also learned not to buy a blender from Facebook Marketplace. Educational content? Consumer advice? Did we sell out and become just another soulless corporate podcast? I think not! To balance that out, did you know that when you say the word “poop,” your mouth does the same motion as your bum hole? We didn't discuss that in the episode... we just thought you might like to know that.

Musical Interlude: Art Carney's Song of the Sewer (1954)

Show notes:

• Bristol Stool Chart
• And the food version...
• Bedouin recommend German soldiers consumption of camel poo to aid in dysentery
• Meconium
• PopSci - The 10 Worst Jobs in Science
• Poop World Records

James' Midwest Conspiracy Corner:

• https://www.thebullvine.com/news/wisconsin-father-and-son-died-after-falling-into-a-manure-pit-at-their-family-farm/
• https://ohsonline.com/articles/2010/04/02/death-in-manure-pit.aspx
• https://www.wisfarmer.com/story/news/2021/08/17/ag-briefs-three-brothers-die-manure-pit/8098800002/
• https://www.manuremanager.com/man-dies-after-being-found-in-dairy-farms-manure-pit-19681/
• https://www.fox9.com/news/osceola-farmer-survives-fall-into-12-foot-deep-manure-pit

The only thing more permanent than a tattoo is the digital evidence that you leave on the internet. How far off the rails is this episode going to go? You'll just have to find out by listening. But I'll give you a hint. It's a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

This episode is marginally better than the tramp stamp that you are worried your work colleagues might have seen that one time when you had to bend over and grab a new ream of copy paper.

Show notes:

• 4 amazing options for Tim's tattoo. Honestly, how can we pick just one?
• Decoding Russian Criminal Tattoos
• I went blind and don’t regret it
• Billionaire gets epic fail tattoo
• Find your spirit animal here!
• Design your own tattoo with generative AI

Hills, maggots and donkeys. Oh my! This episode has something for everybody: history, sports, milking various animals and, of course, belly button bacteria. And no, we didn't get the episode title wrong. You'll just have to listen to find out what it all has to do with cheese.

What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon! And just like an ancient flatus, we're back to spew forth hot air on Ancient Egypt. Listening to this episode will not, we repeat, not, unleash some form of ancient bacteria that will kill off archeologists. We promise. Just don't use this podcast to try and sharpen your razorblades...

We're joined this week by Dave's son Eli because he likes history and was around when we were recording. He's the one with the much deeper voice than the rest of us.

Pop culture references:

• Medical Hypotheses Journal
• Futurama
• The Mummy
• Stargate in all its flavours
• Mythbusters
• Probably others...

What have the crew got brewing this time? You'll laugh a latte with this episode, with special guest, barista and all-around great guy Jason Leembruggen. We also try out some new format ideas and discover how quickly bragging about your cocktail knowledge can come back to bite you.

Pop culture: 

• Metalocalypse/Dethklok 
• Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht, BWV 211 
• George of the Jungle 
• Twin Peaks 

News: 

• Russians Hacked Cameras in Ukraine Coffee Shops for Intel 
• You tipped how much?! 
• Shanked with a coffee cup 
• Share a cup of coffee with your departed loved ones 
• Coffee makes you poop. Starbucks: hold my beer...