What role do kindness and self-compassion play in navigating a late diagnosis?

In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by the wonderful Alyssa Kyria, better known to millions as The Funny Mummy @thefunnymummyuk. As an actress, comedian, and content creator, Alyssa has built a massive following through her hilarious and honest takes on motherhood, but behind the viral sketches was a lifetime of feeling "different."

Diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 45, Alyssa opens up about the grief of a late diagnosis, and how she is now using her experience to shape a more positive path for her own child.

They discuss:

🕒 Diagnosis at 45: Alyssa’s introduction to ADHD was a friend suggesting she should look into it. She shares the complex mix of relief and grief that comes with a late diagnosis, and reflects on the decades spent "masking" and trying to be the person she thought she was supposed to be.

🌪️ The Hormonal Shift: The "perfect storm" of perimenopause and ADHD. Alyssa shares how fluctuating hormones made her symptoms feel louder and harder to manage, eventually leading her to seek an official diagnosis

🧒 Childhood experiences and bullying: Alyssa shares openly about her experiences of bullying and rejection sensitivity, and how they deeply affected her self-perception.

♀️Gender and ADHD: Alyssa shares how societal expectations, and the pressure to put others' needs first, have impacted her experience with ADHD as a woman, only now “unravelling” a lifetime of people-pleasing tendencies.

🤱 Parenting the Next Generation: The "lifelong project" of raising a child. Alyssa and Claire discuss the healing power of being able to tell our children "I understand" and helping them find the things they find easy and wonderful.

🎭 Comedy as a Coping Mechanism: How Alyssa’s ADHD traits of quick wit and "too-muchness" became the foundation for a successful career in acting and comedy, turning what felt like a "weakness" into a massive strength.

🌱 Self-Compassion: Moving away from the narrative of being "lazy" or "broken" and embracing the reality of a brain that simply processes the world with more intensity and creativity.

This conversation is a warm, witty, and deeply validating look at the female ADHD experience. It’s for anyone who has ever felt like they were "too much" or wondered why life felt harder for them than everyone else.

Further resources and links:

• Find Alyssa on Instagram @thefunnymummyuk

• ADHD coaching and resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

What is parental burnout and how can we better manage our stress levels as parents of ADHD children?

In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Dr. Claire Plumbly, a clinical psychologist and author of the bestselling book ‘Burnout’. Together, they tackle the subject that many parents of neurodivergent children feel but rarely have the words for: the bone-deep exhaustion of parental burnout.

When you are raising a child with ADHD, you aren't just parenting; you are often acting as their external executive function, their sensory filter, and their emotional regulator. Dr. Claire explains why this constant "high-alert" state isn’t just tiring - it’s a biological process that can push your nervous system to its absolute limit.

They discuss:

🔥 What parental burnout is vs "normal" levels of tiredness and how it is characterised by a “triad” of symptoms: emotional and physical exhaustion, detachment from children, and reduced sense of accomplishment.

🧠The unique challenges of parenting ADHD kids and how the unpredictability, sensory demands, and the constant need to "fix" situations can make parents of neurodivergent kids vulnerable to chronic stress.

🪟 Understanding the science of your nervous system and your window of tolerance - how we move between "fight or flight" and "shutdown," and why we find it hard to parent effectively when we are outside our calm zone.

🪧 The importance of learning to recognise the signs of burnout, such as operating on “auto-pilot” and how we can better manage our nervous system states: green (rest and digest), amber (urgency), and red (shutdown).

♀️The potential impact of hormonal changes and aging on parental burnout, for example, how perimenopause can affect our nervous system and stress tolerance.

🛑 Why traditional self-care (like a spa day) often feels like another chore, and how to use 30-second "nervous system snacks" to regulate yourself in the heat of the moment.

🌱 Shifting the focus from trying to "solve" your child’s ADHD to managing your own internal state, and why a regulated parent is the best gift you can give a struggling child.

This episode is a vital permission slip for any parent who feels they are running on empty. It’s an invitation to stop apologising for your exhaustion and start understanding the science of your nervous system.

Further resources and links:

• Follow Dr Claire on Instagram: @drclaireplumbly

• Dr. Claire Plumbly’s book: https://amzn.eu/d/0cfy1bvy

• Try the Parental Burnout Inventory: https://alexasaba.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/THEPARENTALBURNOUTINVENTORY.pdf

• Read Dr. Claire Plumbly’s 5 Steps for Switching Off After Work: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/700252/156268792795628975/share

• ADHD coaching and resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.

What is the hidden cost for girls and women of masking their ADHD and appearing to be “fine”?

In this episode of the All Aboard ADHD podcast, Claire is joined by Ana-Maria Butura, a research associate at King’s College London who has led the most comprehensive qualitative study on ADHD masking to date.

For many girls and women, an ADHD diagnosis doesn't come until adulthood, not because the traits didn't exist, but because they were hidden behind a carefully constructed "mask."

Together, Claire and Ana-Maria pull back the curtain on what’s really going on for women and girls who appear to be "coping" while struggling deeply beneath the surface.

They discuss:

⚡ What masking is and why we mask. Masking is not just something we do consciously, but can also develop as a complex survival strategy where we learn to suppress, or compensate for ADHD traits, to meet social expectations.

🧠 Why girls can often present as calm, organised, or high-achieving on the outside, while experiencing a chaotic "volcano" of thoughts and sensory overload on the inside.

🎭 The difference between masking in ADHD vs autism. Where autistic masking is driven more by camouflaging and trying to "blend in" socially, whilst ADHD masking is driven more by feeling the need to hide executive functioning gaps and hyperactivity.

💥Why what we see as parents can differ from what teachers see at school, with girls learning to ‘perform’ carefully at school to avoid punishment, which can lead to emotional explosions at home.

📉 How the ability to mask often leads to girls being overlooked by teachers and doctors, or being misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression because the "typical" ADHD hyperactivity traits aren’t as visible.

🥀 The devastating cost of long-term masking, including chronic exhaustion, burnout, loss of identity, and the feeling that "if people liked the mask, they wouldn't like the real me."

🗣️The action we can take to better support our ADHD girls, including listening to their self-reports, continuing to advocate for their needs in school, plus how to provide as many outlets as possible for their pent-up energy.

🤝 How we can move towards authenticity creating "neuro-inclusive" safe spaces where women and girls feel safe to drop the mask, plus why communication and openness are the only ways to build a supportive "village".

Whether you are a woman who has recently discovered your own ADHD, or a parent wondering why your daughter seems "fine" at school but collapses at home, this episode offers a profound and validating look at the hidden struggle of the female ADHD experience.

Further resources and links:

• Follow Ana on Instagram: @unmaskingADHD

• ADHD coaching and resources from Claire: https://allaboardadhd.com

• Follow Claire on Instagram & TikTok: @allaboardADHD

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.