Against Mononormativity

In this episode, I explore the idea of mononormativity—the assumption that there is one correct structure for love, desire, maturity, and even healing—and how deeply it shapes religion, psychology, and spirituality.

Drawing on the work of David Congdon, Angela Willey, and Jorge Ferrer, I examine how appeals to “nature,” normality, and spiritual maturity often function less as descriptions of reality and more as tools of moral control. Across these traditions, plurality tends to be tolerated—but rarely trusted.

A key thread in this episode comes from philosopher Carrie Jenkins, who offers a powerful alternative metaphor: relationships—and life itself—as a choose-your-own-adventure. Rather than assuming a single correct path, this framework invites us to think in terms of responsible navigation, open futures, and ethical discernment without guarantees.

This is a conversation about desire as information rather than threat, plurality as a condition of growth rather than a failure of integration, and what becomes possible when we stop confusing uniformity with wisdom. It’s an invitation to rethink love, healing, and spirituality beyond rigid scripts—and to imagine forms of maturity that can hold complexity without panic.