A culture of “compulsory monogamy” teaches us that there is only one desirable and appropriate way to form romantic relationships. Ethical non-monogamy opens a much broader range of possible relationship structures, including swinging and polyamory.

In some cases, even after learning about and trying out different relationship structures, people still conclude that monogamy is right for them.

In this episode, Ali and T describe their experience with “chosen monogamy”, a relationship style in which they decided, despite knowledge of and past experiences with non-monogamy, to be sexually exclusive. Neither monogamy nor non-monogamy are right for everyone. As Ali and T discovered, empowerment is less about any one relationship structure over another and more about the ability to make a conscious, personal choice.

@Vanessacliff2

For people who eventually share their identity as LGBTQ+ in middle age or later, they stand in the wake of decades of life identifying as cisgender and straight. Compulsory heteronormativity and cisnormativity are powerful tools of oppression that suggest that being cisgender and straight are the only right way to be. For people not connected to LGBTQ communities, finding language for or comfort in expressing non-normative gender or sexual orientation can be a long process.

In this panel episode, Hannah and Adrian describe how decades of trying to squeeze themselves in a box they don’t fit had detrimental consequences, including depression, anger and addiction. Over time, in a gradual process of coming out, or as the panelists discuss “letting people in”, they were able to create more space for freedom, authenticity and joy in their lives.

The irrational fear, discrimination and judgements about people who are fat are deeply ingrained in dominant Western norms. These ideas show up in many areas of our lives: physical education classes at school, ideas perpetuated by the fitness industry, images and narratives about desirability in mainstream media, including TV shows, advertisements and porn, and bias and discourse among medical professionals.

In this episode, Tina describes how they have encountered fatphobia throughout their lives. Inspired by fat loving activists and authors, as well as their personal experience as a performer in Cliff Media’s porn scenes, Tina has learned a new way of relating to their fabulous body. Talk about the damaging impacts of fatphobia and ways people of all body sizes can work to unlearn these ideas.

@Vanessacliff2