#96: The Real Reason You Can't Be Yourself In Relationships (And How It Sabotages Your Love Life)

People pleasing in romantic relationships is often praised as being “easygoing” or emotionally smart, but it is actually self-betrayal that blocks real love, emotional safety, and genuine connection. In this episode, Hilary pulls the curtain back on approval seeking and emotional self abandonment. This is the habit of editing yourself, managing reactions, and shape shifting to avoid rejection. It can look polished on the outside, but it leaves you anxious, unseen, and quietly lonely. The attention you receive never lands because the real you never shows up. When love depends on performance, connection stays shallow and trust never fully forms. Hilary challenges the pattern head on. Why does someone else’s opinion outweigh your own. What are you protecting when you silence yourself. And what kind of relationship can exist if honesty feels risky. This conversation is a direct invitation to stop auditioning for acceptance and start choosing self loyalty. When you lead with who you actually are, the right people step closer and the wrong ones step out of the way. Episode Highlights: People pleasing is self betrayal, not kindness Approval never lands when the real you is hidden Shape shifting destroys emotional safety Performing creates loneliness, not connection Real love starts when you stop auditioning Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How People Pleasing Destroys Real Connection 02:58 The Psychology Behind Approval Seeking 06:13 Why Abandoning Yourself Leads to Loneliness 09:02 Breaking the Cycle of Inauthenticity 11:51 Embracing Your True Self for Real Connection ✨ I’m Hilary Silver, LCSW, former psychotherapist turned master coach and founder of Ready for Love. I help high-achieving women show up in love as confidently as they do in their careers. 💡 Through this podcast, I share my WOMAN-centered, SELF-centered approach—time-tested methods that blend psychology, brain science, relationship skills, and no-BS dating advice. 🎙️ Since 2017, we’ve helped over 10,000 women with a 98% success rate, making Ready for Love the #1 program in the world for women who’ve tried everything else. ✨ Ready to stop repeating the same patterns and finally create the love you deserve? 🎯 Watch my free masterclass to learn the proven 4-step Ready for Love Method: https://readyforloveinc.com/masterclass 💬 Apply for a free Love Breakthrough Call with my team: https://readyforloveinc.com/apply The Daily Journal Challenge A 90-Day Digital Journal + Free 7-Day Accountability ChallengeJoin us at readyforloveinc.com/challenge/