77: From Chaos to Calm: Your Nervous System, Explained (with Eliza Kingsford)

You’re in for a treat. Today I’m sitting down with licensed psychotherapist and nervous system expert Eliza Kingsford, the woman whose work quite literally changed my life and my marriage. We get practical about what “nervous system work” really means (no jargon, promise), why your reactions aren’t “personality flaws” but state-based responses, and how understanding your nervous system can transform your parenting, partnership, and even your relationship with money.

If you’ve ever wondered why the same argument keeps repeating, why small things suddenly feel huge, or why budgeting feels chaotic even when “the math should math,” this episode will land. We cover Eliza’s “nervous system bank account” (deposits vs. withdrawals), how to spot when you’re in the yellow before you hit the red, and the game-changing phrase: “Story follows state.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What nervous system regulation actually is, and how it shows up in everyday mom life
• Why couples keep looping the same fight (and how to step out of it)
• The “nervous system bank account” model for staying out of overdraft
• How hormones, stress, and state distort tone, facial cues, and interpretation
• Why mindset alone can’t override bottom-up safety signals (and what does)
• How regulation impacts money behaviors, budgeting, and financial peace

Highlights & Takeaways:

• “State first, story second.” Solve the body state before the problem.
• Learn your personal deposits (they’re different for everyone!).
• Spot the yellow zone early to prevent red-zone blowups.
• Money triggers survival wiring, work with your nervous system, not against it.

Resources & Links:

• Connect with Eliza: @elizakingsford | elizakingsford.com (use code HEYRACHEL50 to save 50%!)
• Eliza’s podcast: Brain Powered Weight Loss with Eliza Kingsford
• Join Money Mom Club for our upcoming session with Eliza on nervous system + money (inside the 21-day money mindset series)

If this episode resonated:
Send me a DM or share your biggest “aha.” And if Eliza’s work is calling to you, reach out to her, tell her Rachel sent you. 💛

xoxo,
Rachel

Where to find me:
Instagram: @heyrachelcoons

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