#7: Shidduchim: Where Do I Begin? (Part 1) : With Dayan Posen

Chazal teach that making a shidduch is as difficult as Krias Yam Suf. but what does that mean in practice for families navigating the process today?

In this episode, Dayan Posen discusses the early stages of shidduchim: how parents and singles should approach the process, the role of shadchanim, and the importance of entering shidduchim with the right expectations. The conversation explores questions such as what advice parents should hear at the outset, what “realistic expectations” actually mean, whether financial considerations can justify rejecting a suitable match, and the proper guidelines for gathering and sharing information about a prospective shidduch.

This is the first part of a two-part discussion on navigating the shidduch process.

Timestamps:

- 0:00 Intro & episode topic (navigating shidduchim)

- 0:02 Dayan Posen; why process feels more complicated

- 0:03 Factors: emotions, expectations, waiting; NW London context

- 0:07 Choice/market size and cultural dating models

- 0:09 Torah metaphors on challenge and gratitude

- 0:13 Role/value of shadchanim; success story

- 0:21 Emotional toll on shadchanim; halacha/payment issues

- 0:32 Parental advice: readiness; open communication

- 0:37 Must/important/bonus list; expectations vs. reality

- 0:44 Compatibility, age gaps, emotional approach to dating

- 1:00 Info gathering: who to ask, confidentiality, trust

- 1:26 Urgency differences (boys vs girls); cultural approaches

- 1:36 Close & Part 2 announced; pre-dating checklist