#40: Why Trying to Love Yourself Isn’t Working - and What Actually Does

Why does loving yourself feel so hard - even when you’re really trying?

If affirmations, mindset work, and self-improvement haven’t created real self-love, this episode explains why. Especially around the holidays, comparison with images of perfect families and harmony can quietly turn into self-judgment — and slowly erode your sense of worth.

In this episode, you’ll hear why self-love cannot be created through the mind, what actually shifts when awareness moves into the heart, and how self-love becomes unconditional when you stop trying to earn it.

This episode is for you if you’re tired of self-improvement pressure and want to experience self-love as a natural state, not another task.

Episode Highlights & Timestamps

00:51 - Why the holiday season can trigger feelings of unworthiness How comparison with “perfect family” images turns into self-judgment.

02:47 - Why trying to love yourself often backfires How effort-based self-love creates pressure instead of relief.

05:13 - The belief that postpones self-love into the future “Once I’m better, healed, calmer, or more successful…”

08:14 - The core reason self-love doesn’t work Why the mind cannot create love - no matter how positive your thoughts are.

10:00 - The real shift that changes everything What happens when awareness moves from the mind into the heart.

13:29 - Experiencing self-love without earning it A simple heart-centered moment that dissolves inner pressure.